Buddhism Hotline
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BREAKING NEWS!! IT'S COMING BACK FOR THE 100TH TIME!!!1 |
The Buddhism Hotline (a.k.a. The Bootyism Hotline) is a hotline created by trolls to trick everyone to think that they're a genuine hotline by posting their number for trolls to call in and repetitively say nigger, when this happens the host has a panic attack by flailing his arms and runs to the camera some of the time, if he doesn't do this he usually screams for Mathis or Rajeev to hang up the call. The Buddhism Hotline is ran by expert troll and actor Jonathan Hills (he pronounces his name as Jonothon Hills). The hotline is ran by three main people, Jonathon, Mathis, and Rajeev. Everyone on the show tends to critique Jonathon Hills because of his bizarre behavior, Jonathon does some questioning stuff, like grabbing a guest's crouch randomly without any context.
Professional Actors
It is quite obvious that everyone that has appeared on the Buddhism Hotline are really professional actors.
Jonathon Hills
Jonothan Hills (also known as his real name Wesley) is the liberal faggot and ringleader of the Buddhism Hotline. Sometimes he challenges someone to a game of something such as a wrestling match or a basketball game and always loses the games. You can tell by the way he plays that he's a troll because no one is that fucking autistic. You can also see in older streams that he didn't have a speech impediment that is as prevalent as now. He pronounces the word "joke" like "jock", but back a couple of years ago he didn't pronounce it like "jock". Jonathon hates all white people and claims to be 46% "Africon Americon", and will get extremely butthurt when someone says the dreaded n-word, despite the fact he is so obviously white. He is also a fucking brony and a furry, which he makes quite obvious by advocating for furry rights, despite all furries being fags, and being filmed watching an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Every once in awhile he actually cracks a smile. If this was a genuine hotline then he wouldn't hide it by running off camera or hiding it using his hand. He made a stream about video games being a sin, yet a few days later he made a stream of him playing Minecraft. He obviously got griefed. He has three products, which consists of:
- His book called "Buddha Bless me,Buddha Bless You."
- His (marijuana laced) peas.
- His pea juice (which actually tastes like mountain dew according to someone that appeared on the show).
He says that all of these products are cheap, yet they cost 39.99. Famous for catchphrases such as "Hang up the call," "Track it," "text the authorities," "Oh my Buddha," and other faggotry. Also he regularly has BDSM activities with Mathis.
Mathis Miles
The local retard of the show that is meant to be the stupidest character on the show, yet somehow he's not nearly as retarded as Wesley. Was the original technical supervisor before Rajeev, but his retardism rendered him useless at his job. Basically the most popular character on the show just for the fact that he cries like a bitch when someone makes fun of his condition and spouts dumb catchphrases like "123 aboose!" Jonathon regularly locks him in his basement and fucks him.
Rajeev
There's not much known about Rajeev except that he handles all of the phone calls that come into the hotline. He has a Youtube channel that he streams on called the tech support hotline because he's Indian. When someone donates and plays the song Africa, he gets a raging boner and sings along in his ugly voice. On his streams he tends to play Minecraft. I suppose the reason why he plays Minecraft is because he looks like Minecraft Steve.
Dr. Gregory "Peckerboy" Pecks PhD
Gregory Pecks rarely comes on the show now, but when he does, Wesley usually challenges him to some sort of competition, which Wesley obviously loses. Claims to have a degree in Buddhism, but that sounds like bullshit.
Burke Baxter
An older host most well known for having the most retarded reactions to anything remotely inappropriate. Also he's from the Sunshine State of California.
Joe Smalls
Some redneck fucktard that can't read. Was arrested for attempting to rob a local Taco Bell with a Nerf Gun over a Beefy Frito Burrito.
Mike Hard
Former host that Wesley is really "hard" for. Only reason why anyone gives a shit about this guy is because his girlfriend is fap material. If only you could get one like that. His only redeemable quality is that he hates fags.
Kent Kennedy
A pharmaceutical company owner that looks more like a hobo than a businessman. Usually taunted by Wesley for being a "high-mass individual". Tends to act as a referee for most of Wesley's retarded contests.
Carl Sheith
An aspie fan of the show that made an appearance in one episode. Kissed Wesley live on the air, which caused him to freak the fuck out.
Katie Hills
Wesley's unseen waifu that so happens to be a slut. Apparently Hills is her maiden name, meaning that Wesley took her surname because he's the less dominant pussy in the relationship. Some of the callers call into the Hotline while having sex with her, giving Wesley massive butthurt. Allegedly had a child with Mathis, which Wesley thinks is his. Oh yeah, and Bullshitter Hills claims that his son was born through meditation and not through sex, and we totally believe him when he says that.
Ways to troll Jonathon
- Say nigger or any other profanities.
- Mention Jesus Christ ("Do not say the JC word on this program!")
- Mention Trump (even though he supported him in his earlier streams)
- Call him Wesley
- Call him a cuck ("What is a cuck!?" Said anytime he is called one, even when someone explains what one is)
- Mention Bill Cosby, Billy Mays, John Cena, Keemstar, Phil Swift, or Adolf Hitler
- Claim that men are superior to women
- Have sex with his waifu live on the air
- Spam retarded keys (examples: w or <>) in the donations
- Play anything that isn't kid-friendly as a song donation
- Play earrape as a song donation (he gets seizures when that happens)
- Claim that your gay
- Give shout-outs
- Make fun of 9/11
- Mention that you eat anything that isn't green peas (apparently that's the only food you're allowed to eat)
- Degrade his "book"
- Tell him he's not "Africon Americon"
- Mention T. Rucker
- Call him/yourself fat
- Accuse him of plant abuse (he abuses plants when he's pissed)
- Mention creampies (same as cuck where he acts like he doesn't know what one is)
Cancellation
Fortunately, the show finally came to an end, but unfortunately, it's been revived into "Live with Jonathon Hills," which is basically a shitty political discussion show. Basically Wesley is now another Alex Jones wannabe.
Now they are back to Buddhism Hotline, Gregory should've aimed for the head.
Videos
There have been many slip-ups from Jonathon Hills and some of the other actors, some of these were on purpose, but some of these weren't on purpose.
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See Also
- Jesus Chatline - basically the same premise, just not as autistic and only two people as hosts
- Trolls trolling trolls
- Buddhism
- Autism
- Ghost
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Buddhism Hotline is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
