Fun Facts

He dresses like a gothfag and cries when he's around snakes.
He is somehow liked.
His reality show is gay because he knows that really, in reality, his reality show sucks syphilitic dicks.
Nobody likes him because he's a mythic fucktard and his dick got touched by his uncle Vito.

Bam Advertises Himself

Like many of the world's most hated thiefs, Bam wanted to steal an icon that he would use to promote himself unto the masses. The heartagram (which looks like an upside-down Jew star with boobs sprouting from the top) was taken from HIM because Bam happened to like that band. Also, he believed that by taking the logo for his own use, people will think he has a large penis, but he's just a poser. Amirite?

Vam

"Here he is about to daterape his celebrity crush, Ville Valo. Notice the beer and the placement of Margera's hand."

It is a popular belief among many 16 year old girls interested in Homosexual Relationships that Bam and the frontman of the Finnish band HIM, Ville Valo, (the guy he stole the heartagram from) are secretly in love. While this may be true, there is not enough evidence to confirm that Margera really is a fudgepacker. Ville, though, has openly confessed his love for both teh vagina and teh cock.

"Vam" is the clever portmanteau of some genius noticing that, if you insert part of "Ville" into "Bam" (GET THE PUN?), you get "Vam." This is not the unquestioned name for this pairing. From this idea have also sprouted varios seeds of faggotry, such as "Dugera" (Bam x his hobo-friend, Ryan Dunn). But suprisingly the VAM fanfom produces very good fanfiction compared to others.

Fanfics are easy to write.

Start with a cheesy plot line.
Have one man or the other masturbate to the other.
Have the opposite walk in and see them.
Badly written sex scene.
????
PROFIT!!

It is common for a 16 year old girl to become obsessed with this pairing for over 9,000 years, get bored, and move on to some ~~sexier~~ more faggoty pairing.

TV Shows

Jackass

Bam is a regular on the show jackass, where he likes to have everyone plug him with gold dildos and pube beads. srsly. He is well known for being the complete and utter pussy of the crew, his most daring stunt to date being jumping into a swimming pool from about 10 feet high.

Viva La Bam

This what the bastard really does for a job

Last Thursday, there was a TV show about Bam who staged his retarded antics to the horror of his illegitimate parents. Every episode seemed to have followed this basic plot:

Bam comes up with some asinine scheme: "Okay, on today's show I'm gonna make my dad Phil run around in a diaper and it's gonna be soooo badass!"Alternative: build ramps EVERYWHERE

He then drags all his friends and family into said plan: "Hey guys, when Phil gets home we should check and see if he crapped himself. And then, we're gonna make him eat his shit!"Alternative: at least 100 people skate all over the rubble of his home which has now been converted to a skatepark for the 4th time

And on occassion, there will be a special guest: "Holy shit it's some wrestler no one ever heard of! We'll have him watch Phil eat his own shit! I'm so awesome!"

Obligatory breaking of objects: "Now I'm gonna break some windows!"

As long as all of this criteria is met, the producers have done their work.

At least 100 episodes of Viva La Bam were produced until the show became unprofitable just to make way for more contrived faggotry. This meant that Bam had to find other ways of making himself popular once again, even if he had no other choice than becoming an hero.

Bam's Unholy Union

Early this year, Bam got a new crap show on MTV that is a ripoff of the Newlyweds called Bam's Unholy Union. Even though folks who like Bam will happily watch his little antics, some argue that the show and the marriage will eventually fail, leaving Bam to either find another half-assed reality show and vagina to plug or find alternate forms of work. There's lots of opportunities out there.

Drinking Binge

Following his marriage to a wonderful woman, Bam became heavily involved in drinking. After a 4 day binge, his loving wife called the Cops, who promptly called an ambulance. Bam confessed to the EMT that drinking was the only thing that could drown out his wife's harpy-bitch nagging. The two are now in couple's therapy, where Bam is being taught how to properly take care of his woman