Haribo® Sugarless Gummy Bears

The warning recommends you limit your gummy dosage.

Haribo^® Sugarless Gummy Bears, better known by their street name Satan's Thunder Demonshits (STDs), or among the children as "Daddy's Special-time Candy", are an inedible abomination produced from the minds of ex-nazis; the unfortunate byproduct of the German company Haribo attempting to sail waters long unfriendly to Europeans—humanities and health ethics. Originally sold as a targeted poison for the average loser overwhelmed with munchies from a bit of the old herbal jew, Haribo miscalculated the popularity of their own normally-delicious products and quickly saw a record number of complaints, lawsuits, and cease and desist letters as the entire world pigged out on a "healthy" alternative to their childhood dreams.

Killer of Childhood Dreams

The internet has been around for a while. During this period, most of us have had our innocence raped away from our psyche. However, there are still small parcels that exist in the real world, often overlooked for their brilliant simplicity, which allow us to have just one more small glimpse into our precious, carefree years. Gummy bears is one of these things.

Legally and Discretely Troll the Ever-Living Fuck Out of the World

• Bring to parties
• Give as a gift to ex-goyfriends
• Give as a gift to enemies
• Give as a gift to friends
• Give as a gift to a government employee
• Donate as a thank-you parcel to the local Sheriff's Office
• Donate as a gift to the local hospital
• Give to your friend's pets just before they compete in a dogfight with your pet
• Give to your friend's grandparents to hasten their inheritance

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES FEED THIS TO YOURSELF!!!

External Links

• Official Amazon Page

See Also

• Diahrrea
• Nightmare Fuel
• Eating disorder

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