Eclipse: Difference between revisions
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search
imported>Hagibor Safety save |
imported>Hagibor Saving. Because of probs |
||
| Line 5: | Line 5: | ||
On 21 August 2017 a giant [[Dragon]] will dwoop down from the heavens above to eat the sun. If you follow the much cooler [[Nazi|Norse Mythology]] version, [[Furfag|Fenrir Wolf]] will eat the sun and quickly [[shit]] it out after getting his [[ass]] kicked by the Asgardian badass Tyr. Unfortunately, if you're a [[Islam|kowtowing rug jockey]] your religion won't allow you to go outside and watch this marvel of astronomy with your naked eyes. Most likely, your Mullah will put out an order and demand that everyone come to the mosque, dressed in their best [[an hero|suicide vest]] and pray from when the eclipse starts until the giant monster above becomes frightened by your prayers and spits the sun out of his mouth, failing to eat it. [[Truth|I wish I wasn't joking.]] | On 21 August 2017 a giant [[Dragon]] will dwoop down from the heavens above to eat the sun. If you follow the much cooler [[Nazi|Norse Mythology]] version, [[Furfag|Fenrir Wolf]] will eat the sun and quickly [[shit]] it out after getting his [[ass]] kicked by the Asgardian badass Tyr. Unfortunately, if you're a [[Islam|kowtowing rug jockey]] your religion won't allow you to go outside and watch this marvel of astronomy with your naked eyes. Most likely, your Mullah will put out an order and demand that everyone come to the mosque, dressed in their best [[an hero|suicide vest]] and pray from when the eclipse starts until the giant monster above becomes frightened by your prayers and spits the sun out of his mouth, failing to eat it. [[Truth|I wish I wasn't joking.]] | ||
==Eclipse Times And Map == | |||
[[Image:1eclipse111.jpg|center|550px]] | |||
*Location______ Partial Eclipse Begins_ Sun Completely Obscured | |||
*Salem, OR______09:05 am PDT_______10:18 am PDT | |||
*Idaho Falls, ID______ 10:15 am MDT_______ 11:33 am MDT | |||
*Casper, WY______ 10:22 am MDT_______ 11:43 am MDT | |||
*Lincoln, NE______ 11:37 am CDT_______ 1:03 pm CDT | |||
*Sabetha, KS______ 11:38 am CDT_______ 1:05 pm CDT | |||
*Jefferson City, MO______ 11:46 am CDT_______ 1:14 pm CDT | |||
*Carbondale, IL______ 11:52 am CDT_______ 1:21 pm CDT | |||
*Hopkinsville, KY______ 11:56 am CDT_______ 1:25 pm CDT | |||
*Nashville, TN______ 11:58 am CDT_______ 1:28 pm CDT | |||
*Talulah Falls, GA______ 1:07 pm EDT_______ 2:37 pm EDT | |||
*Columbia, SC______ 1:13 pm EDT_______ 2:43 pm EDT | |||
*Charleston, SC______ 1:16 pm EDT_______ 2:47 pm EDT | |||
Revision as of 06:01, 7 August 2017
On 21 August 2017 a giant Dragon will dwoop down from the heavens above to eat the sun. If you follow the much cooler Norse Mythology version, Fenrir Wolf will eat the sun and quickly shit it out after getting his ass kicked by the Asgardian badass Tyr. Unfortunately, if you're a kowtowing rug jockey your religion won't allow you to go outside and watch this marvel of astronomy with your naked eyes. Most likely, your Mullah will put out an order and demand that everyone come to the mosque, dressed in their best suicide vest and pray from when the eclipse starts until the giant monster above becomes frightened by your prayers and spits the sun out of his mouth, failing to eat it. I wish I wasn't joking.
Eclipse Times And Map
- Location______ Partial Eclipse Begins_ Sun Completely Obscured
- Salem, OR______09:05 am PDT_______10:18 am PDT
- Idaho Falls, ID______ 10:15 am MDT_______ 11:33 am MDT
- Casper, WY______ 10:22 am MDT_______ 11:43 am MDT
- Lincoln, NE______ 11:37 am CDT_______ 1:03 pm CDT
- Sabetha, KS______ 11:38 am CDT_______ 1:05 pm CDT
- Jefferson City, MO______ 11:46 am CDT_______ 1:14 pm CDT
- Carbondale, IL______ 11:52 am CDT_______ 1:21 pm CDT
- Hopkinsville, KY______ 11:56 am CDT_______ 1:25 pm CDT
- Nashville, TN______ 11:58 am CDT_______ 1:28 pm CDT
- Talulah Falls, GA______ 1:07 pm EDT_______ 2:37 pm EDT
- Columbia, SC______ 1:13 pm EDT_______ 2:43 pm EDT
- Charleston, SC______ 1:16 pm EDT_______ 2:47 pm EDT
