Israel

Israel (Hebrew: We-were-here-first-land, Arabic: Criminal Zionist Entity, Persian: Auschwitz II, American: Holy Land, Liberal: Occupied Palestine, Russian: Zhidland, German: Judenland, Ukrainian: no-salo-land) is a heavily militarized nest of Jews in the middle of Arabia. It was founded by butthurt Jews who believed that it was God's (who they don't believe in) will that they have a Promised Land, and who wanted Jews to have their own country to serve as a safe haven from all the world's hate. Now here's a thought; Maybe if they stopped lobbing bombs at little kids playing in the street, and cured their addiction to money and power over others, (apparently, controlling the economy of one country isn't enough for them) they wouldn't need a safe haven in the first place!

Today, Israel is a major player in the Jewish quest for world domination, and is, of course, the richest country in the entire Middle East, and rules the USA. However, it actually has its own Army, which is not in keeping with Jewish tradition to let others fight your wars for you.

The presence of Israel in the Middle East is not popular with Arabs, who want to destroy it, mainly because Israel sits on land that was once Muslim and now isn't. In response to repeated attacks that killed Israeli Jews, Israel got tough on the Arabs. Palestinians have been beaten, marginalized and put in to barbed wire pens, on their own land, where they have nothing to do but think of ways to slaughter Jews, thus turning the place into the drama headquarters of the world. Israel's Domestic and Foreign policies rival that of any of the most racist and unscrupulous regimes of all recorded history.

Favorite pastimes include: World Domination, Ethnic Cleansing and Long Walks on the Beach

Contents (left here so that someone can fix my attempt at structuring)

   * 1 Background
   * 2 Foreign Policy
   * 3 Pwnage forces
         o 3.1 IDF
         o 3.2 Mossad
         o 3.3 Shin Bet
   * 4 Government
   * 5 Immigration policy
   * 6 Education
   * 7 Culture
   * 8 Early History and the Father of The State
   * 9 Actual Quotes of the Father of Israel
   * 10 History
         o 10.1 Founding of the modern state
   * 11 Wars
         o 11.1 1948
         o 11.2 1956
         o 11.3 1967
         o 11.4 1973
         o 11.5 1982
         o 11.6 2006
         o 11.7 2009
   * 12 Gaza Blockade and the Freedom Flotilla
   * 13 Palestinians and the peace process
   * 14 Military policy
   * 15 Confession of the obvious
   * 16 Facts About Israel
   * 17 How To Troll
   * 18 Law and order
   * 19 Israel flame war
   * 20 Gallery
   * 21 See Also
   * 22 External links

Background

Jews first appeared in the land, then called Canaan, after migrating from Mesopotamia, and slaughtered the Canaanites who lived there, and then ran the joint for 1,000 years before Ancient Rome conquered them and de-Jewified the place, re-naming it Palestine. After 2,000 years of wandering in which they usurped their host nations' resources, they began returning after the world woke up to their deceit and rightfully launched pogroms. After World War 2 and the Holocaust, the Jews already ran Palestine, and turned it into an almost exclusively Jews-only joint, complete with Jews-only cities, towns, and villages. Jews also ran all of the economy.

In 1948, the Jews finally had a separate country. The Arabs tried to snuff the kikes out, but failed. Ever since, it's been nothing but trolling IRL, butthurt, pwning and drama, as Israel keeps winning wars, while the Arabs keep saying that they win the wars simply because they killed some Jews. Meanwhile, Israeli sharpshooters always aim for the arms when putting down Arab intifada lynch mobs. Due to the fact that Slurpee machines require two hands to operate properly, no 7-11 stores exist in all of Israel. Their loss. However, enterprising Jewish businessmen built a machine which turns Palestinian babies into slurpees.

In spite of lot's of fucking hippies protesting, for the most part the rest of the world is happy to sit back and enjoy the lulz of watching kikes and sandniggers pwn each other.

Foreign Policy

Israeli soldiers buttfucking a Palestinian boy for stealing a felafal. This is what Jews mean when they say the sandniggers give them a hard time.

Israeli foreign policy is pretty simple: "Not my fault! I'm the victim! How dare you criticize us, you Holocaust denying sandnigger-lovers!"

Israeli Jews have a strong sense of victimhood dating back many thousands of years when the Egyptian Pharaoh gave Moses an ultimatum: stop yer freaking Jewish whining or go somewhere else. Faced with this important choice, the Jewish people decided to go somewhere else where they could maintain their whining tradition and ended up in Jerusalem, the hip place to be for all pretentious whiners during that point in human history.

Despite having the most powerful military in the Middle East with the most up-to-date military technology and 400 nuclear warheads, Israel still thinks it's the victim when it sends a tank to buttfuck a Palestinian neighborhood into submission, just for sending some Jihadist nut with a primitive explosive vest into Israel. On the other hand, they’re surrounded by over 9000 sandniggers that want to eliminate them, and they don’t actually destroy entire villages but carefully plan airstrikes in detail and risk the lives of their own soldiers to an absurd degree to get the one jihadist they’re looking for like total wusses. They literally send their forces into urban areas full of such lulz as booby traps, machine gun nests, ambush positions, and sniper posts, but somehow, they always manage to pwn the sandniggers and lose a handful of men, with the sandniggers then claiming victory. But they’re stupid Israelis who do everything half-assedly so lots of kids and old ladies and other people often armed with guns and grenades and stones get killed on the way, and then displayed to the world as victims of Jew cruelty. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS.

Truth is Jews of Israel will buttfuck you and your whole family for walking within 9000 feet of the Israeli border. And if the sandniggers are getting harassed by some ultra-religious kike with a gun, they can expect a drone strike on Yom Kippur.

Anyone who criticizes Israel is automatically assumed to be a Holocaust denying fuck who wants to eradicate Jews from planet Earth. This is offensive because it states the obvious, as everyone just wants to be rid of their Jew slave-masters.

Pwnage forces

Israel's secret weapon Latuff whacking off after the Lebanese war. IDF Israeli special forces prepare to hunt for Muslims The Israeli government gives this award to any Jew who kills 1337 Muslims

The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) is the military of Israel, and the first Jew military in 2,000 years, as Jews generally concentrated on making others fight their battles for them. The IDF beat off several Arab invasions, and today is generally tasked with occupying the Palestinian territories, assraping the shit out of terrorist groups, and protecting Israel's precious jewgolds. The IDF recruits by pulling teenagers fresh from high school and almost killing them in tough boot camp for a year before sticking them into combat units. Lots of Jews from around the world also flock to Israel just to get in on the fun. It is sort of like a second Bar Mitzvah for Israelis and even for Jews. Converting to Judaism and joining the IDF is also something many young people going through an identity crisis do to give meaning to their lives. Israel lets most of its Arab minority dodge the draft for obvious reasons, except the Druze, a Muslim religious cult that thinks they're descended from Jews. IDF is known for recruiting loads of wimmins which leads to LOTS OF ORGIES in the army.

Today, the IDF is the fifth most powerful Army in the world, thanks to generous donations from Jew bankers and Jewish donators worldwide, who also run the USA. Mossad

Israel's version of the CIA. A secret group of government sneaks whose job is to spy on every country in the world, to assassinate terrorists abroad, and to assist Jews in their covert operations worldwide, thus granting them profit. It is responsible for all wars, diseases, violence, and starvation in the Middle East, Africa, and Haiti, so as to provide cover for their money-sucking operations . Shin Bet

Israel's version of the FBI. A secret group of government sneaks whose job is to spy on every Palestinian and bad Jew in Israel, to torture terrorists, and penetrate terrorist groups. It runs its own versions of Gitmo all throughout Israel. Shin Bet provides services such as interrogation, beating, and death to terrorists.

Government

Israel, as a Jewish country, has the most criminal government in the world. Israel is run by an AshkeNazi-dominated government, which controls the money supply, media, banks, schools, and private citizen's jewgolds, same as Jews do the rest of the world.

Among the government's lulziest policies are taxing its own citizens to breaking point, banning color TV until 1983, and secretly influencing the USA through its Mossad-placed Jew lobby.

The social structure of Israel is sorta like that of Soviet Russia, except that it is in some ways a democracy. Although all citizens can vote, the only votes counted are those of rich Ashkenazi Jews. Although Israel is in some ways a socialist country, the upper echelons are purely capitalist, with much profit and lulz for the Ashkenazi Jews. Then, below them, there are the Sephardi and Mizrahi Jews. They mainly serve in the IDF and police, and do actual public services, though the smarter ones rise to senior IDF positions and sometimes even politics. Below them, there are the Arab "citizens" who are servants to all Jews in Israel. except that everyone hates them, especially the Sephardis and Mizrahis. They basically do all the dirty work in society, but get paid with dirt. Despite this, they still have moar rights than in any other country, which is why most of them would prefer to be Jew-slaves in Israel than dirt-poor sandniggers in their homeland. Of course, the lowest class is none other than the Schwarzies, the Ethiopian black "Jews". When the Israeli government decided that it needed less rebellious cheap labor, it kidnapped a bunch of starving negroes out of the African desert, who were happy to call themselves whatever the Matzah-givers told them. Ethiopian Jews in Israel today are not just slaves, but the slaves, as they even serve the official slaves, the Arabs. Immigration policy

Israel is, of course, desperate to take in as many Jews as it possibly can, due to the fact that Arabs breed liek rats, and if they become a majority. As a result, anyone with even a hint of Jew blood or religion is automatically entitled to an Israeli passport and a resort-like villa in Occupied Palestine. Immigration by non-Jews is almost impossible, and very few even try due to the strictly-enforced policy of mandatory circumcision.

Most of the Jews who immigrate are ultra-religious wonks who want to fulfill the Jewish Mitzvah of slaughtering human garbage infesting land that the Bible says belongs to the Jews. Others just come there for the insane nightlife and the insane sex with all the tough IDF chicks, while others find that they are uncomfortable with being loyal to Israel and living in another country abroad.

Israel prefers genuine kikes complete with bent noses, black and curly hair, and an obsession with money, just to maintain racial purity, but it also accepts anyone who converted to Judaism. Most of the converts are pedophiles fleeing their home countries to avoid prosecution, and molest Palestinian children while in the IDF, and are given a medal for it, but no money, and since they don't have the money skills of the Jewish race, they relapse into poverty and end up haunting the dark alleys and corners of Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, while the government continues to tax them for whatever money they have left.

Education

An Israeli first-grade class during basic training

The education system in Israel is based on money, like everything else controlled by Jews. First of all, the teachers get paid each one 10% of the official goverment's money once a year. Sounds too much right? No. The Israeli goverment, infact, is like a bank - you can't take without losing it twice later. Thus, the teachers get paid one year about 1000000 Shekels (500 US Dollars), and in return they have to pay 1200000 back to the goverment. So, the teachers, who want to keep living goodly (like all Jews), have to work in whatever job they can. As a result, they aren't able to teach properly, and the whole education system fails, like everything else controlled by Jews. In the 70's and 80's, many proud immigrant Jewish teachers came to Israel for work, but as they didn't want to be tricked by the government and actually lose money, they decided not to take the plane to Israel and instad fly to Jewmerica and the Jewnited Kingdom. Therefore, the Israelis lost most of the good teachers and were forced to send their children to the military and Mizrahi schools.

Question: How low is an Israeli teacher's pay? Answer: Lower than the Dead Sea. LOL WUT.

These days, the Israeli goverment is trying to help the education system, but they aren't doing so well, due to the fact that very few people want to be a teacher in the first place. In Israel, the teachers are like the friends of the students: they teach you, play with you, and clean your house (unless some Palestinian already does). As rabbis control the whole system, teaching about sex or evolution is illegal in Israel. Parents are allowed to do whatever they want to the teachers, as long as the goverment doesn't need to pay for it, so together with their kids, parents go and beat the crap out of teachers who fail their kids at tests. As a result, the education system is based on "if you'll pay me I'll give you 100, if you'll not pay me it's 55". But never lower than 55.

If you're a Sephardi teacher, you are allowed to say whatever you want about Ashkenazis. If you're a female teacher, you're allowed to write whatever you want about men (but you aren't allowed to talk, because the rabbis get a boner when they hear you). Sometimes, the children massacre the teachers, but this isn't too common, because they have to pay for the bullets.

Israel's education system is, not-surprisingly, the lowest in the universe. The teachers will teach you lies, and how to make money, and that the Jews are the chosen people of the world, but they won't teach you anything important.

After all this, there is one good thing that comes out of this system - the uneducated women become religious whores. And, it's very hard to teach if you can't see the class because of your big nose.

Culture

Jew culture in Israel is different from the diaspora Jews elsewhere. Unlike their persecution-minded counterparts who can't fight and use synagogue time to hatch plots, the Israeli people, also known as the Israeli Army, have an almost fanatical religious zeal to them, taking the Hebrew Bible to heart, especially the parts about mass-murdering non-Jewish nations inhabiting the Holy Land, and the belief in Jewish racial superiority. Although Jews in Israel are still obsessed with money (which they can easily get through the Jew lobbies in the USA), they are possessed with an unnatural lust for Arab and Muslim blood. Worldwide Jews are too lazy to dirty their hands murdering the brown Allah-lovers, but love to fap to pictures of their corpses instead.

Israel has the most militarized culture in the world. All kids learn how to fight at an early age: by high school, they know how to assemble and disassemble a machine gun. Military education in Israel begins eight days after birth, with the traditional Jewish circumcision ceremony. In Israel, circumcsion is a bit different than that practiced by diaspora Jews. Every baby boy gets the tip of his penis sliced off with a combat knife, after which the Mohel forces a Palestinian at machine-gun point to suck the blood out of the baby's genitals and swallow.

At the age of thirteen, every young Israeli goes through his Bar Mitzvah in order to begin his transition to manhood and the Army. Once a boy turns thriteen, he must run with 80 pounds of Army gear on his back into an armored synagogue, take aim at a Palestinian target, recite the coordinates in perfect Hebrew, and launch the missile. Bonus points are earned if it also strikes some hippy protestors trying to protect the sandnigger. Even after the Bar Mitzvah, boys are still pressured by their Jewish mothers to go find a nice young Hamas terrorist to kill.

Due to intense pre-military education given by their parents, rabbis, and teachers, Israeli kids become devoid of empathy for non-Jewish life. Unlike the meek Jewish kids getting pushed around in the West, Israeli kids are mean to Arabs: ever wondered how a Jewish bully looks like? In Israel, about 90% of kids are fanatically religious, uneducated, culture-less creatures. Wherever you go in Israel, you will find hundreds of religious-militant teenagers walking on the streets with miliary uniforms, assault rifles, gold coins, and knives made of broken Vodka bottles, hunting for Arabs. Israelis are the nastiest type of Jew around: Nazi-hearted violent beasts with pure hate against Gentiles, especially Muslims.

Judaism in Israel is quite different from diaspora Judaism. Although the Jews in the U.S. and Europe traditionally bake their matzah's with the blood of white Christian children, Israelis prefer that of Arab children. Most of it comes from Palestinians, though the Mossad does steal some from Arab countries. Matzah made out of the blood of Iranian children is considered a delicacy in Israel, and is expensive even by the standards of the Jew bankers in New York. Hanukkah in Israel begins with a spit-roasting of Palestinians to symbolize Israel's resurrection and newfound power, and then the eight-day Menorah ceremony begins. Menorahs in Israel are actually multiple rocket launchers, and a new rocket goes into one of eight tubes each day. The Shamash, or the special ninth tube in the middle, gets a special shrapnel-filled rocket. At the end of the ceremony, all Israeli menorahs are fired simultaneously into Palestine.

Early History and the Father of The State

The land now called Ysrl by the jews has been acknowledged to exist for almost 2,000 years. Jews owned the joint, but got driven out by the pesky Romans, who then made it a colony. Then it fell to the Ottomans, and about 600 years later the mighty Ottomans passed by the dumpsite en route to invade Northern Africa.

By the XIX century a self-loathing German Jew (two wrongs never make right) by the name of Teddy Herzl was cutting his wrists about being Jewish and German (Austrian, the worst kind of German) while thinking of a Final Solution to his terrible problem. Naturally he approached the Catholic Church. When he realized that he could not cure his facial and nasal protuberances, and that sipping wine and eating some matza-like cookie greatly resembled a Shabbat Dinner, he laid the foundations for the obliteration of Judaism. He would sneakly change the Jew's identity and lure them into calling themselves Zionists and founding a new Hebrew State in some backwater ditch.

In 1917 the Americans were paid a lot of money by Jews to save the Britfags' asses, against the Britfag promise of capturing some stretch of gravel in the Ottoman Empire where brainwashed jews could fuck around; eventually succeeding and ensuring almost a century and counting of lulz.

Actual Quotes of the Father of Israel

These are actual quotes of Theodor Herzl, who came up with the idea for a Jewish state:

“ "Simple goyim are better than Rabbis, and the highest are the goyish priests"

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—Theodor Herzl

“ "I bless every jew that converts to Christianity"

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—Theodor Herzl

“ "The Jews make countries fight each other and when they want, make peace. But whatever happens, they get rich from this."

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—Theodor Herzl

“ "An idea rose on my heart to bring on anti-Semitism and to obliterate Jewish wealth"

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—Theodor Herzl

“ "Kill the Fucking Jews"

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—Mel Gibson...and a few others

History

Founding of the modern state Mossad security pimps prep some pretty-mouthed Palestinian boys for a traditional Hanukkah spit-roasting. This might be lulzy.

When the Allies advanced towards Berlin in the late 1944, they discovered the horrifying truth of Hitler's pet project in the German extermination camps. Millions of Jews, suffering from diseases, barely walking from hunger and malnutrition, humiliated beyond human by their torturers, but - and here comes the horrifying part - still alive, poured out of the gates of Auschwitz, Birkenau and other places. Something needed to be done about it because they didn't want those Jews ending up in America somehow.

Fortunately, the Nazis' still had some allies left, who were too retarded to pose any military threat to the civilized world - the Sand Niggers. So most of the Jews were sent to the Middle East and the Western World hoped that four hundred million Arabs would quickly push four hundred thousand Jews for Jesus into the sea once the Poms left the area.

Unfortunately, the stupidity of the Arabs was severely underestimated, resulting in epic fail. This led to the establishment of a Jew state for the first time in at least 100 years. Thus, in solving the Jew, we are basically back to square one.

The premature decision to invade Germany before Hitler could finish his conceptual art project -turning all Jews into lampshades- and subsequent underestimation of how retarded Arabs were, made Roosevelt die from guilt, and ruined Churchill's career after the war. Stalin managed to avoid personal resposibility until after his death. Some argue that the Cold War was a direct result of Western Allies and the Soviet Union blaming each other for not fully actualizing the Final Solution. This strife naturally fueled the rebirth of the Jew economic conspiracy. Some gleam of hope rose again in 1979 when the New Aryans took over some shitty country, now within range of Eretz Israel - AKA Auschwitz IV, the Final Selektion (Auschwitz III, Monowitz, was partially operational when the stupid Commies went head over heels on the Eastern Front).

Wars

Israeli general with his shot-sight laser eye is on guard always to keep Israel off its enemies. 1948

Arab hordes invaded Israel just hours after the Jew state was born. In several months of fierce fighting, Israel not only beat off the modernized British-supported Arabs with its lightly equipped militias, but actually conquered moar territory. It was a major source of pride for Jews everywhere, and a major butthurt for sandniggers. During the war 700,000 Palestinians fled Israel, in the expectation that they would return to a Jew-free Palestine, under urging of Arab leaders. But when the Arabs lost, they refused to integrate them, keeping them penned up in refugee camps as a propaganda weapon against the Jews. 1956

Israel conspired to invade and take over Egypt after it shut down the Suez Canal. After Israeli forces penetrated deep into Egypt and took the entire Sinai in a few days, Britain and France decided to join in on the fun, and took the canal. Due to Egypt's constant trolling of the USA, as well as its threat to cut off oil supplies, the U.S. made all three countries withdraw. As a result, the Jews stopped paying President Eisenhower money, and he lost the next election. 1967

Israel was afraid that the Arabs were planning a Second Holocaust, so the Israeli Air Force destroyed the Arab air forces. With no airpower, the Arab states could do nothing but wait their turn as the IDF mauled 3 Arab armies in a row. The war was a major fail for Russia, which now had to replace the butthurt Arabs' losses, and a major win for the USA, which replaced France as the country's main ally after the butthurt French imposed arms sanctions. 1973

The Sandniggers in Egypt and Syria tried to win back their lost territory, but Israel held the lines and pushed back both countries, and then invaded both Egypt and Syria, driving towards their capitals, practically wiping out their air forces and navies, and surrounding an entire Egyptian Army. The war came to a tragically early end when the Russians threatened war if the IDF didn't stop, and the U.S. made Israel stop its offensive. Today, the war is celebrated as "Victory Day" in Egypt and Syria. 1982

Israel invaded Lebanon for the first time after butthurt Palestinians set up their base there, launching terrorist attacks on Israel and Jews everywhere. Israel quickly pwnt the raggedy-ass Palestinians, and raped a Syrian intervention attempt. The Palestinians were exiled to Tunisia, where they continued to launch terrorist attacks from their seaside HQ near Tunis, all planned and executed by Yasser Arafat, who later on masqueraded as a "peace partner" to get moar arms and security training for his thugs by the US and EU. The IDF responded by attacking and destroying their Tunis HQ, causing major butthurt and fail to Arafat and his cronies. 2006

Hezbollah tried to troll trolled Israel by killing 10 troops and dragging off two of the bodies, then hoped Israel would be kind enough to exchange terrorist prisoners in prison. Israel responded by bombing and blockading the shit out of Lebanon, before invading the south of the country, engaging in fierce ground combat for 34 days, before finishing off with a grand finale of cluster bombs on Hezbollah terrorists, then pulled out and agreed to Hezbollah's demands. 2009

During Hanukkah 2008, Israel realized that it was short on child blood for traditional Jewish blood sacrifices, so they bombed the shit out of Gaza and then invaded it, in a war lasting well into January 2009. The Jews well exceeded their kill quota, pwning 709 Ham-ass "freedom fighters" and 296 civvies, plenty enough for the ritual blood sacrifices to proceed as planned. Also, enough baby blood was left over to make Matzah for Passover 2009.

Gaza Blockade and the Freedom Flotilla

Full article: Freedom Flotilla Jewish commandos mowing down Turkish beserkers

In 2007, Iranian-backed Hamas terrorists seized Gaza from the America-backed Palestinian Authority, determined to rape, pillage, and plunder all of Israel. It was then democratically elected as the Final Bosses of Gaza on the campaign slogan of "Make the Holocaust Myth a Reality: Vote Hamas". Since this was not the kind of democracy envisioned by Israel and the West, it was agreed upon that Israel and Egypt would wall them in, and that Israel would patrol it with its navy in order to cut Gaza off from everyone, especially their Iranian and Syrian arms-dealing pals. Israel was particularily obsessed with enforcing the blockade, and policed Gaza with all the subtlety of a rabid pitbull. As a result, the Freedom Flotilla, a convoy of six ships with 600 peace activists, intended to break through the blockade and deliver humanitarian aid. This fail convoy was put together by the Free Gaza Movement (An international troll organization dedicated to freeing Hamas crazies and providing a steady flow of arms supplies), and the IHH (A Muslim group dedicated to human rights whenever Jews are involved). Turkey backed the flotilla so that Islamonazi Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan could score points with Iran, Hamas, and Islamists inside his own country. Israeli commandos intercepted the flotilla as it neared the terrorist colony, and batshit insane Turks on board attacked the brave Jewish naval troops with metal pipes and chairs, jacked some of their guns, and tried to take three of them hostage. The Israeli troops then panicked and took out their pistols, then blasted away for a few minutes, killing nine and wounding dozens. The rest were arrested and carted off to Israeli prisons, while Israel treated the wounded in its own hospitals. However, Israel didn't count on the reaction for what they did. The attack pissed off Turkey, Iran, Turkey, Greece, Turkey, Germany, Turkey, Britain, Turkey, and China for some reason. The only friend it gained out of this was Armenia.

Nooblet prime minister of Britain, Gordon Brown David Cameron said he would take a stand against this act of terror. From most interpretations, this meant he will bend the fuck over and take it while the Jews pay him moar money to do nothing. The only logical reaction to this is simple: EPIC FUCKING RAID. Palestinians and the peace process

What the Israeli Army thinks of the peace process

Israel took over Gaza and the West Bank in 1967. The Palestinians have launched two Intifadas against the Jews. Intifada translates to English as "Kill-the-Jews-in-preschools-and-cafes-until-they-stop-occupation". Whiney liberal fucktards will tell you that this means occupation of the West Bank and Gaza, but the Palestinians actually consider all of Israel to be "occupied", and want the Jews out so that they can move in.

The Palestinian Intifadas were both started by the Palestinians, who then blamed Israel. They sniped people in public, sent suicide bombers into cafes, schools, buses, restaurants, markets, and nightclubs, sniped people in their cars, fired rustbucket rockets into Jewish towns, and even fought it out with the IDF and lost. Israel reacted by bombing Palestinian terrorist bases and rocket positions, which the Arabs had put in the middle of cities so that ordinary people would die and make the Jews look bad, sending in troops to kill or capture terrorists, and building a wall to keep the Palestinians out. The standard Palestinian response was to show the world pictures of dead Arabs and accuse Israel of "apartheid", "war crimes", and "genocide". They were whining because they were too stupid to accept any realistic peace offers, so they resorted to hoping that the world would solve their problems by destroying the Jews. They were convinced that all it would take was a few pictures of corpses before NATO, the EU, or the Arab League invaded Israel to save them. Unbenowest to them, Jews run America, making any kind of NATO attack on Israel impossible, Israel gives the EU lots of technology and fruit in exchange for money, and the Arab League won't invade because all Arab countries have militaries that are clapped out, old fashioned, and no match for the IDF, and will not attack unless they get $900 billion to cover their costs. Israel's West Bank wall, built by Palestinian cheap labor. Some Heebs initially wanted to extend the wall around every single Palestinian, but the project was thrown out the window because there were too little jewgolds.

The Arabs have, however, proven that they are ready for peace. In a peace plan presented by Saudi Arabia, and agreed to by all other Arab countries, the Arabs would stop attacking Israel and establish diplomatic relations in exchange for these three things:

   * 1967 Borders: Israel was to completely dismantle all its thriving settlements, almost all of which are close to the border in areas where almost no Palestinians live, and just leave the entire West Bank and Gaza Strip and withdraw to practically indefensible borders. Not only would these borders make it difficult for the Jews to defend from invasion, but they also place government offices in Jerusalem, Ben Gurion Airport, Tel Aviv, and practically all of Northern Israel in rocket range. The Arabs promised not to attack Israel after this, even though the Koran itself says that you should break treaties when you have the advantage. 

   * East Jerusalem: The Arabs, who for centuries said to the Jews "Why don't you go back to Jerusalem, your Holy Land", now demanded East Jerusalem Jew-free, so that they can again deny the Jews access to their most sacred sites, then damage them and use them as urinals and sidewalk cobblestones, just like they did in the 1950s. This despite the fact that Jewish neighborhoods in East Jerusalem were legitimately bought from Arab families by enterprising Jewish businessmen in the U.S. (who were in fact Mossad agents) and then given over to the Israeli government, and that Arabs in East Jerusalem would prefer to live in Israel than in Palestine. 

   * Right of Return: The plan said that Israel should let 4 million Arabs to immigrate to Israel, and add to the 1.5 million Arab citizens already there. These Arabs are mostly descendants of Palestinians who left during the 1948 war, but the Arabs kept them in ghettos and refused to let them get a life, instead using them as an expendable guerilla force to kill Jews. This hostile population, added together with the Arabs already there, outnumbered the Jews by far, along with a higher birthrate, would no doubt de-Jewify the place. 

Israel offered to share East Jerusalem and its holy sites, annex the major border settlement blocs and withdraw from the remaning settlements, let 100,000 refugees move to Israel, and give $30 billion in aid to help resettle and compensate the rest of the refugees. It also said that the Palestinians can't have an army, but it could still have its well-armed police, paramilitary, and intelligence forces, all trained and armed by Israel, the US, and EU and even gets a NATO force to protect them, all this in addition to a road and rail bridge to link the West Bank and Gaza. After the Palestinians said "fuck you", Israeli Prime Minister Sharon tried to advance peace by pulling out of Gaza. The Palestinians generously replied by overthrowing the Palestinian Authority government, electing terrorists swearing to commit another Holocaust, and firing thousands of rockets into Southern Israel, making the town of Sderot virtually unlivable. Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert tried to end the conflict by agreeing to land swaps and to let 150,000 refugees return to Israel in exchange for peace and recognition of Israel as a Jewish state. Palestinian President Abbas said "fuck you". Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu then came to power, and direct talks started after pressure from Barack Obama, who made Netanyahu freeze the settlements. The Palestinians made it clear beyond any shadow of doubt that they would settle for nothing less than a full withdrawal to practically indefensible borders, their rule over all of East Jerusalem (and for it to be closed off to Jewish prayer), the unconditional "right of return" to demographically flood Israel with Arabs, and "territorial contiguity" between the West Bank and Gaza to slice Israel in half. Netanyahu then gave them this peace plan:

   * "East Jerusalem ARE BELONG TO ISRAEL!". 

   * "All settlements ARE BELONG TO ISRAEL!" 

   * "Palestinian airspace and borders ARE BELONG TO ISRAEL!" 

   * "All your weapons ARE BELONG TO ISRAEL!" 

   * "Refugees NOT BELONG TO ISRAEL!" 

Israel and the United States have repeatedly tried to negotiate with the Palestinians, but the Palestinian idea of negotiations is: "give us all, or its war"! No, srsly. They actually demand all these things as a condition for peace. Rather than just keeping Jerusalem, absorbing the border settlement blocks, and leaving the rest to the Arabs, Israel actually chooses to sit down and negotiate with these losers, who demand concession after concession for empty promises, even though Israel is stronger. This would be like Germany and Japan at the end of World War II making demands for concessions from the Allies who had just pwnt them. Military policy

When will there be peace?

As one would expect of a Jewish state, Israel is the most overtly criminal nation in the world. The Jews there are constantly involved in wanton killing of their Arab neighbors, engaging in such lulz as war crimes involving use of banned weapons in densely-populated areas, as thoroughly documented by testimonies from their own soldiers, which some argue is a result of decades of mass fapping to Holocaust Porn, causing the Chosen People to internalize an eroticized narrative of genocide and act out their own Holocaust fantasies onto their poor and hapless Palestinian and Lebanese neighbors. Although killing sandnigger Shitlamists is always funny, Israel sort of ruined all of the lulz due to Semitic faggotry and unlimited access to sum hutt Muslim-genocide action. If a toothless Arab peasant-ass from nowhere fires over 9,000 fireworks on some shitty Jew colony in the possession of crippled jam-producers, the Israel military is immediately obliged to smash-bomb the shit out of every terrorist boy-lover in Gaza. This of course is not even remotely fair since lots of their precious Jewgolds come from the Jew-controlled Americunt government, which in turn only gets nigger-riots and a reliable ally, that at the slightest sign of danger will eat their own children along with everyone they swore allegiance to.

Unlike Jewish conspirators in Europe, U.S.A., everywhere - the Israelis are obliged to show extreme force at any given chance as mentioned above. Whether this is because ghettos used to be the Jews' natural habitat or that they are just so comfortable with the whole world behind their back is a matter of debate.

The Israeli military are known to have one rule of engagement and one rule only- They never violate the same corpse twice.

Confession of the obvious

Being unpatriotic is illegal in Israel, while not screaming your support for Israel makes you evil on your face and the subject of discrimination and ridicule everywhere in the Jew-controlled world, and in the minds of the Hives' Elders who control our future financial security.

The Jews were the real winners of the Second World War, and the world has been paying for it ever since.

The Holocaust, Never actually happened. The Jews call this fact Holocaust Denial, but that is just a catch phrase thrown out to keep you away from scratching the surface even a little, because if you did, you would see how full of holes this tale actually is. It would take any unbiased and open minded person with half a brain 5 minutes to be convinced of that. Many scientists and researchers from all corners of the globe have been coming to this conclusion for many years. David Cole was one of the first young Jews in the 90's to realize that he had been lied to, and tried to set the record straight and made a documentary about it. He then had his life systematically destroyed, along with anyone else who dare question any part of the Great Myth. The war happened, tens of millions of people died, but the whole planned extermination, gas chamber thing, no. Israel and their joint 'Pact With the Devil' with the United States, pump out hundreds of hours of Propaganda to convince us that this Bible Story is fact, big surprise, it isn't. Israel relies on peoples compassion and guilt, and uses it as a blackmail tactic globally, extorting billions a year from Swiss banks and various countries. Belief in the Holocaust is faith based, not fact based. The Holocaust is actually replacing religion in the modern world. To believe in it makes you divine, ...to question it makes you a heretic and an anti-semite.

Israel's founding was justified solely on the greatest lie in human history, as the world felt so guilty that it felt that it owed the Jews eternal restitution. Now, of course, all that sympathy is gone and has been replaced with a desire to just wipe out the Jews due to Israel's uncontrollable and blatantly racist behavior ever since the minute it was founded. Facts About Israel Symbol of the Knesset (Israeli Parliament). Also the de facto symbol of the USA Congress

   * An Israeli Jew's wealth is determined by the size of their nose 

   * The word 'Shalom' can translate to mean 'Nuclear Strike' 

   * There are no bicycles, only TANKS! 

   * The curlier the hair, the better chance of success in Hollywood 

   * After completing their Army service, many Israelis find profit in becoming Hollywood bodyguards for famous celebrities 

   * The Israeli Army practices with paintball guns to avoid damaging their Leet machinery 

   * Circumcision is the latest trend. Foreskin = uncool. 

   * Israel is the richest and most advanced country in the Middle East because they are still leeching off the technology that they and USA pilfered from Germany after WWII. 

   * In Israel, there are 220% taxes on cars, because the government are Jews. 

   * There is a secret non-kosher smuggling tunnel running under the Negev. 

How To Troll

   * Deny the Holocaust. 

   * Say that Iran is superior. 

   * Tell them that Israel is just a tool for the USA military. 

   * Tell them that Israel gets support from only the Jew-run Americunt government, and everyone else hates them. 

   * Tell them that their government is made up of war criminals. 

   * Tell them that most Israelis wish they were European, but they never will be, and they have as much chance of getting into the EU as Turkey does. 

   * Tell them that no matter what they do, the world will still hate them. 

   * Tell them that they'll never be seriously considered for NATO membership. 

   * Tell them that Jews are simply Arabs in denial. 

   * Call the country Palestine. 

   * Tell them exactly how it is. 

“ "The one I have found to work best is to simply find a Jew at your local Community College, (very rare), and to simply ask them if you could have their views on Palestine, because you do not understand the situation, and you believe that both sides have reasonable views. Believe it or not this will enrage your average Jew. At first glance it is hard to understand why, but it is because you have put Palestine's argument on the same level as their argument. This pisses them off far more then claiming the obvious, which is that Palestine owns the country and if the U.N. were a legitimate organization, Isreal would not be allowed to exist."

 	„

—Americunt idiot who doesn't even know that 'Palestine' is a geographic term, not a country or a people, thus pwning himself HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I'M A BUTTHURT JEWFAG

Law and order

   * Islam is banned
   * Christianity is banned
   * Germans are banned
   * Pork is banned
   * Non-circumsised penises are banned
   * Ovens are banned
   * Sandniggers are banned
   * Flotillas are banned
   * Apes are banned 

Israel flame war

in a flame war relating to the Israeli-Palestine conflict and want some Jews on your side, consider inviting the following people:

   * World War III
   * Doc neuro
   * Quasidan
   * Zb
   * Hitler
   * Jesus
   * Jewkemia 

Gallery Jewllery

A good way to troll a right-wing israeli

Former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon generated criticism for eating the Wailing Wall.

Sandnigger and sandnigger-loving Jew.

Jews want to start a regional war which would allow them to control the Suez canal and the oilfields of Iraq, making Israel the most powerful nation in the world

I love the smell of burning Habbibi in the morning; smells like...AUSCHWITZ!

Israel's foreign policy.

Sandniggers breed worse than any other species on the planet, best stop it now.

Israeli rabbi preparing a Muslim baby for a traditional Passover blood sacrifice

The Mossad's biggest operation

Jews owe allegiance to only two entities: The State of Israel, and money itself.

Israeli kids sign presents for Gaza

Turkish ambassador to Israel gets the kiddie chair. That will teach them not to mess with Israel!

This Jew is considered a "bad-Jew" by the Jew bankers in New York, a "ghetto Jew" by Israelis, and a fucking Jew human rights activist by liberals and socialists.

Join the American Army: Fight for Israel!

PROFIT?

Does not match.

Israeli war planes.

OH FU-

Jewish lies.

Israel didn't sign the NPT

Welcome to Israel!

Israeli soldiers buttfuck a guy dressed a Santa over criticizing Israel's solution to the brown-people problem

Israeli tank vs. terrorist larva.

An Israeli prison guard poses with some Palestinian inmates before raping them.

Dead Terrorists: Product of Israel.

The IDF celebrates a victory over stone-wielding Muslim hordes.

Israel has the hottest female soldiers in the world.

Whether its flattening stupid anarchist bitches, preparing the land for a wonderful new Jewish villa, or demolishing a terrorist's home, the IDF's CAT D9 bulldozer is up to any job. See Also

   * Palestine
   * Jew
   * Nazi
   * Jews Did WTC
   * Gaza War
   * Gaza Flotilla
   * JIDF 

External links

   * Israeli Ministry of Lies and Bullshit
   * Photos of "warcrime" lulz committed by Israelites.
   * Buchenwalk and SyK Warfare Documentary and Book
   * Holocaust Truth, ...I mean denier, videos and documentaries
   * Occupation 101:Voices of the Silenced Majority. Official Site for the award winning 2006 documentary on the Israeli Palestinian conflict