7-Eleven: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:7-11signage.jpg|thumb|150px|right]]
 
'''7-11''' is the store where armed-robbery apprentices get their on-the-job training, and where 90% of Mexican work until they get their Visa and [[I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00ds|steal your daughter]]. Without this cornucopia of [[lulz]] many of the [[basement dwellers]] reading this now [[Unrealistic Expectations|might have jobs or families]]. 7-11's are also hotbeds of various [[drug]] and black person activity. Due to lax zoning laws and insufficient [[pig|police]] numbers, 7-11 is allowed to continue their [[Republican|evil]] operation with virtually no resistance or accountability.
 
==7-11's Contributions to Society==
Besides the [[Slurpee]], 7-11's greatest gift to society is its gift of entertainment; without it we would not have shows like ''World's Dumbest Criminals'' or gems such as this:
 
<Youtube>hD9_lY7DtqE</Youtube>
 
==Ocean's 7-11 ==
 
[[Image:Oceans711.jpg|thumb]]
 
<Youtube>qn3h1FlSXyA</Youtube>
 
<Youtube>vwC8ONSVPEU</Youtube>
''Ocean's 7-11'' Trailer and episode 1 part one.
 
There is also a sketch comedy-spoof series called ''Ocean's 7-11'' on [[YouTube|Les tubes]] which is filmed there. It is the show that [[you]] and your untalented fat friends would make if you had the money.
 
{{Quote|"Oceans 7-11” is an eight episode series that began airing in January, 2008. Each episode consists of two parts running approximately seven to ten minutes each. “It’s part parody, but we really wanted to create an homage to the guys we grew up following, like George Clooney and Steven Soderberg. We realize we have to renew the viewers’ attention every couple minutes, or they’ll move on to an uploaded home video on YouTube of someone falling off a ladder.}}
 
Also, they provided the name for [[711chan]]. But that's something else.
==Is A Career At 7-11 Right For You?==
 
[[Image:Kwik-e-mart.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Don't cha just luuve [[stereotypes]]?]]
 
[[Image:7_11_Coopers_Plains_02.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Oh, good: the night shift is here.]]
 
Answer the following questions with a yes or no:
 
*Are you [[Indian]]?
*Are you unable to write, read, speak or recognize English? ([[Engrish]] also now acceptable!)
*Are you totally devoid of aspiration?
*Are you an ex-felon?
*Are you absurdly high and incapacitated by the munchies?
*Would you like to work in a location where you can be certain you will get [[raped|robbed]]?
*Are you willing to yell at any teenager you see for shoplifting, even if they haven't committed a crime?
 
If you answered ''yes'' to any of these questions, then you might consider job opportunities at 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven is a worldwide chain. It is the largest chain store in any category, beating McDonald's by [[9,000|over 9,000]] stores (in your '''face''', [[china|Walmart]]). Its stores are located in eighteen countries, with its largest markets being Japan, the United States, Taiwan, and Thailand - in other words [[Azn]]s love [[Slurpee]]s.
 
How to steal a candy bar:
<Youtube>ObUmal6KS94</Youtube>
 
What a typical night at work is like at 7-11:
<Youtube>OUff31LRPE4</Youtube>
 
==See Also==
*[[711chan]]
*[[Paki|Bloods]] vs. [[Indian|Crips]] [[slavery|employment opportunities]]
*[[Robbery|Knock-overs]]
 
==External links==
*http://www.youtube.com/user/ClooneyOcean (you can see all of the ''Ocean's 7-11'' vids here)
*http://www.7-11.com
*http://www.slurpee.com
{{life}}
[[Category:Locations]]

Revision as of 22:08, 19 April 2011

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