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Revision as of 15:34, 3 October 2016
If anyone was a kid in the early 1990's, they will probably remember a little game called Pogs (or if you're real intense about the game, it's always spelt POGs). Pogs, like other fads (see Pokemon), were created using cheap materials and somehow managed to make kids go batshit insane. It worked. Unfortunately, as with any other fad, eventually people got tired of the shit and Pogs have ended up on Ebay as a "collector's item" to be sold to morons who one day think they'll be worth something again. Of course, because there's so many of them, and people can run over to their local Wal-Mart to find the materials to make them, any hope of making these paper products a collector's item is instant fail.
Origins
Pogs was the brainchild of a teacher in Hawaii named Blossom Galbiso. She actually didn't invent the game, however. In the 1960's, little Hawaiian children took the wooden milk caps from milk bottles and flipped them around, because there was nothing else better to do in Hawaii at the time anyway (you know, besides surf and shit like that. So boring.).Some argue, mainly the wapanese, that the game is actually a long-lost version of Menko, because the Japs obviously invented everything. Originally brought in to teach the kids about math, the capitalist whore noticed she could make money off of it. So, armed with cut-throat consumerism, she swindled her childhood friends and made the game into an enterprise, featuring classic Pog designs like a random image of a skull, some hip catch phrase, and a hairy caveman retard with a purple nose.
The game caught on like a pedophile convention at a preschool. Soon every kid had to have them. It wasn't enough, though, as the Pogs were just cheap circular-shaped paper wafers with cute designs printed on them. Moar products needed to be invented, more expensive products. The kini, which later was renamed the slammer was designed to accompany the Pog. Usually plastic or metal (sometimes as thick as a chode), it was much more collectible than the Pogs themselves, costing just a little more to produce. Soon kids everywhere were playing with Pogs, while schools were banning the game, ironically because it was supposed to teach kids about math, amirite? To combat this, Pogs tried to make an educational series with US states, Presidents, your mom, etc. but it was all for naught, since no one cares about an educational game. But they somehow survived the schools' display of the banhammer. Even nation-wide competitions were held for Pogs, determining who could win the most Pogs at a pretty much random game.
Eventually, Pogs died out. People began realizing that it was much cheaper and much more fun making Pogs than it was buying them. So, many custom Pogs were produced from kids in their parent's basement. Soon after that, however, Pogs companies started losing money, and they pretty much gave up.
Game Play
Playing Pogs is about as easy as wiping an ass (and about as fun as that too). The rules, printed directly from the first Pog package, are as follows:
- Stack Pogs from everyone's collection, usually 5-10, face-down
- Armed with a slammer, spank the Pogs hard, you sick fuck. Slam it hard ftw.
- Punch a black person and say "You gave us AIDS, motherfucker." (Note, if you cannot find a nigger, you lose the game. Sorry, rules are rules).
- Any Pogs that are face-up are yours.
- DO A BARREL ROLL
- ????
- PROFIT
Today's Pogs
Pogs are currently about as popular as Milfail. However, some third-world countries love them - they're currently being used as money. I'm not shitting you. They're handed out to army personnel as "gift certificates". Every once and a while, some Arab will get a hold of one of the "coins" and mimic the "game" played similar to "Pogs." He will then be promptly thwarted with a lawlsuit via the desperate Pog companies looking to gain more financial success from their enterprise. Skip that. Srsly though, Pogs are money in some countries.
You can easily find Pogs in any Goodwill, Salvation Army Superstore, or on Ebay. It isn't hard. The trick is to find the right buyer. If you're a poor nigra, here's how to make your own Pogs:
- Print out cool Pog designs (see gallery for references)
- Find some thick Paper. Thick where if you held it up, it would stay straight, not gay.
- Glue the designs onto the paper.
- Cut out the circles.
- Say "MAKE ME A SMAMMICH, BITCH" loud enough so a woman will hear you (because cutting and pasting will make you hungry!).
- Find a circular piece of metal about the same size as a Pog. If you live near a machine shop, they'll practically give you one. Repeat the steps for the slammer as you did the Pogs.
- Show them off to your friends, who will ultimately be jealous.
- Attract people's attention and say it's a weeaboo game.
- Make fucking money.
- ????
- PROFIT!!
Gallery of Meme Pogs
It's dangerous to go alone. Take these! Use these templates to create your very own Meme Pogs. These Pogs are just a tad bit bigger than the "official" Pog size (Pogs are around 1.625 inches or so), but it gives you a little bit of room for error. Enjoy.
Making your own Meme Pogs
It's easy, dumbass. Follow these steps:
- Get photoshop
- Find a meme
- Use cookie cutter tool to get the disc-shape
- Make the image around 180px x 180 px
- ????
- PROFIT
