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| [[Image:divinepasties.jpg|thumb|right|Battle Pasties of Righteousness. Minnesota Residents Add 15% Sales Tax.]]
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| '''Angels''' are supernatural beings who manifest on the earthly plane as vampires, supermodel private investigators or divine messengers of teh Lord.
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| == Holy Angels ==
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| [[Image:Thisismyangel.jpg|thumb|right|Forced meme.]]
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| [[Image:Zanbbw.jpg|thumb|Angels are all [[secret fatty|secret fatties]]. [http://www.angelbbw.com Don't believe me]?]]
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| God's angels dwell in the seventh level of [[eBay]], and are likely to be found in the form of sacred collectible plates, t-shirts, [[goth]]ic jewelery, and nightlights. Like [[demon]]s, angels prefer artwork that presents them as scantily clad in an erotic pose. Even determined [[atheist]]s are converted to a god-fearing life when an angel flashes her battle pasties of righteousness.
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| [[Image:Crossroads commercial.jpg|thumb|typical angels]]
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| Angels are elusive but some information about them can be gleaned from recounts of contact that [[blog]]gers have posted on the [[internets]]:
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| *'''Angels are [[robot]]s'''
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| **[http://www.mcs.ca/vitalspark/2020_schools/302elvn00.html Vital Spark]: "11:11 is a pre-encoded trigger placed within our cellular memory banks prior to our descent into matter which, when activated, signifies that our time of completion is near."
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| *'''Angels like to brag'''
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| **[http://community.livejournal.com/angels_incarnae/profile angels_incarnae Community Rules]: "This community is for real Incarnated Angels. No egocentricity! So, maybe you used to be second only to God and were in charge of this and that, but you know what? Very few of us want to hear about how great you were."
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| *'''Angels are pushy'''
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| **[http://community.livejournal.com/angels_incarnae/47441.html rainbowwings444]: "I didn't even want to post this, but some angels that I'm in contact with want me to, and I can't not listen to them."
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| *'''Angels are [[stupid]]'''
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| **[http://community.livejournal.com/angels_incarnae/46675.html tenshirei]: "I go by Tenshi, as does the angel that I am in contact with who seems to be somehow bonded with me. We're not clear on much, especially her past..."
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| *'''Angels have to fill out paperwork'''
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| **[http://community.livejournal.com/angels_incarnae/45457.htm dawnwillow]: "Anyway, it's come to my attention I used to be a Gregorim, but now I work for a warrior angel in our city, and deal with the bureaucratic stuff so that he doesn't have to."
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| *'''Angels need Viagra'''
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| **[http://community.livejournal.com/angels_incarnae/44588.html rssefuirosu]: "My wife has noted that if I move my wings, my body goes limp, and if I move anything on my body, my wings droop."
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| == Vampiric Angel ==
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| One of Buffy's cross-eyed lovers on [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]. She slew him good but, unfortunately, he was revived by drooling [[sixteen-year-old girl]]s who still spend serious amounts of time discussing the curve of his [[ass]] on [[fan]] forums. He spends his free time nailing [[bitch|puppies]] to the wall and [[rap|raping]] [[Virgin|virgin]] nuns [[For_the_lulz|for the lulz]]. But he feels [[not|really bad about it]]. On the black person, he doesn't [[Twilight|sparkle]].
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| == Supermodel Angels ==
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| [[Image:divinemessenger.jpg|thumb|right|Divine messenger of teh Lord]]
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| More popular than either of the previous two classes of angels because they have great [[tit]]s and are experts at kung fu. Supermodel angels can be lured to your home by placing an empty Wonderbra and a [[pro-ana|box of laxatives]] on your doorstep before you go to sleep.
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| == On [[DeviantART]] ==
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| It is a regulation on DA that every single shit-for-brains [[cunt]] of a "poet" write about angels. This is the only sure way to get anyone to comment on your latest [[LJ]] runoff, as DeviantARTlet's brains are only programmed to recognize smiles using angels. After all, they're not really pathetic, self-absorbed little whores, they're [http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/46272503/ totally angels trapped in this dark, cruel world!!] and [[emo|NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THEM!!!111]]
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| == On [[4chan]] ==
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| [[Over 9000]] times a day, Gaiafags invade [[/b/]] in a feeble attempt to make the image to the right a [[forced meme]].
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| == See Also ==
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| *[[God]]
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| *[[Satan]]
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| *[[Demon]]
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| *[[Otherkin]]
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| *[[DeviantART]]
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| *[[Pillow Angel]]
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| <br>
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| {{otherkin}}
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| [[Category:Subcultures]]
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| {{Psychology}}
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