Acne: Difference between revisions
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imported>Onideus Videos! :D Peoples and amnimals (actually just horses right now, but I'll add moar later). Needs redirects for "cyst" "abscess" and "boil". I'll add a fuckton more pictures later too. |
imported>Keskoberr No edit summary |
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[[Image:Acne_omfgwtf.jpg|thumb|Acne makes you [[fugly]]]] | [[Image:Acne_omfgwtf.jpg|thumb|Acne makes you [[fugly]]]] | ||
'''Acne''' is a ''hilarious'' [[disease]] experienced by [[at least 100]]% of [[teenagers]] and a handful of very unlucky adults. | '''Acne''' is a ''hilarious'' [[disease]] experienced by [[at least 100]]% of [[teenagers]] and a handful of very unlucky adults. | ||
[[Image:acne_spells_arse.jpg|thumb|What could be worse than having acne? Acne that spells "ARSE" on your forehead, that's what.]] | |||
== History == | == History == | ||
| Line 8: | Line 11: | ||
Every [[nerd]] and [[geek]] in the world has acne, which is why they can never get [[girlfriend]]s or [[boyfriend]]s. [[Half Life 2|Theoretical physicists]] have proposed that by finding [[photoshop|a cure for acne]] the world would have less [[emo]]s and [[goths]], as these two groups are populated exclusively by [[angst]]y adolescents who want an excuse to wear an inch-thick layer of makeup. | Every [[nerd]] and [[geek]] in the world has acne, which is why they can never get [[girlfriend]]s or [[boyfriend]]s. [[Half Life 2|Theoretical physicists]] have proposed that by finding [[photoshop|a cure for acne]] the world would have less [[emo]]s and [[goths]], as these two groups are populated exclusively by [[angst]]y adolescents who want an excuse to wear an inch-thick layer of makeup. | ||
People with acne are often called | People with acne are often called "pizzafaces" because of their [[purportedly|purported]] resemblance of their faces to pepperoni pizza. [[Goatse|Gross]]. | ||
==Typical Zits | ==Typical Zits== | ||
{{center| | |||
{{quote|0:54 - EWWW!! HOLY SHIT!! THAT IS | <youtube>iEeMJgV75nQ</youtube> | ||
}} | |||
{{quote|0:54 - EWWW!! HOLY SHIT!! THAT IS MASSIVE!!}} | |||
== Why Acne is Hilarious == | == Why Acne is Hilarious == | ||
* It's [[painful]]. | |||
* It's [[ugly]]. | |||
* It's on your face. | |||
* It causes death after 7 days | |||
* It has [[sex]] on your face without using a condom, creating more acne | |||
=== Why Else === | === Why Else === | ||
* Approximately 100% of [[azn|asian people]] have acne | * Approximately 100% of [[azn|asian people]] have acne | ||
* The shit people with acne make up when you ask them: "Hey, what happened right there" and point to a zit on their face | * The shit people with acne make up when you ask them: "Hey, what happened right there" and point to a zit on their face | ||
==Acne Online== | ==Acne Online== | ||
| Line 35: | Line 38: | ||
*Start a thread saying that soaking your face in hydrogen peroxide for 10 min got rid of your acne scars for 2 weeks. Hydrogen peroxide is just a weak bleach and WILL turn skin significantly lighter for a day or so. | *Start a thread saying that soaking your face in hydrogen peroxide for 10 min got rid of your acne scars for 2 weeks. Hydrogen peroxide is just a weak bleach and WILL turn skin significantly lighter for a day or so. | ||
*Post about how much you "lance" (acanese for poke) your acne and soak it in rubbing alcohol. When everyone replies on how much you should not do that just respond on how you are going to try a new lancing method, repeat. | *Post about how much you "lance" (acanese for poke) your acne and soak it in rubbing alcohol. When everyone replies on how much you should not do that just respond on how you are going to try a new lancing method, repeat. | ||
<br> | |||
==Cat Acne== | |||
Just like filthy [[Human|hoomans]], LOL Kitties can likewise suffer from horrible popping pustules spewing out of their gourds. Cat acne is actually usually worse than people acne and normally caused by allergic reactions. Cats actually have scent glands in their cheeks and chin, which is why they're constantly rubbing their faces all over everything, in order to mark their territory and [[you|personal belongings]]. However that in turn means exposing their already greasy wet faces to any number of vexing irritants like scented cat liter, plastic food bowls and of course piss spray from male cats that have rubbed their ass glands all over your property like a sprinkler. That in turn causes inflammation of your cats pores which in turn creates nasty crustules of zit froth, prompting yer kitty to pick at her face like a jackhammer with her dirty, filth ridden back claws, which in turn causes the entire mess to spawn all out of control like a rancid volcano of vomit and blood until it look like this: | |||
{{cg|Yum!|cat-crusties|center|<gallery> | |||
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Disturbing_-_Cat_Acne_-_01.jpg | |||
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Disturbing_-_Cat_Acne_-_02.jpg | |||
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Disturbing_-_Cat_Acne_-_04.jpg | |||
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Disturbing_-_Cat_Acne_-_03.jpg | |||
</gallery>|<gallery> | |||
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Disturbing_-_Cat_Acne_-_05.jpg | |||
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Disturbing_-_Cat_Acne_-_06.jpg | |||
Image:LOL_Cats_-_Disturbing_-_Cat_Acne_-_07.jpg | |||
</gallery>}}<br> | |||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
{{cg|Crusty Goodness|crusties|center|<gallery> | |||
Image:WholePizza.jpg|[[Pun|Spot]] the difference! | Image:WholePizza.jpg|[[Pun|Spot]] the difference! | ||
Image:Taraacne.jpg|She didn't get [[raped]] - it's just acne. | Image:Taraacne.jpg|She didn't get [[raped]] - it's just acne. | ||
Image:Ance.jpg|Acne gets you [[attention]] from girls | Image:Ance.jpg|Acne gets you [[attention]] from girls | ||
Image:Zitjuice.jpg|A pile of fresh zit squeezings. | Image:Zitjuice.jpg|A pile of fresh zit squeezings. | ||
</gallery>|<gallery> | |||
Image:Smallpox.jpg|[[Black|Af]][[Disease|ne]] | Image:Smallpox.jpg|[[Black|Af]][[Disease|ne]] | ||
</gallery> | Image:Pimplesqueeze.jpg | ||
<br> | Image:Acne_-_Out_Of_Control.jpg|A nuclear meldown of zits! | ||
Image:Acne_-_Depression_Medicine.jpg | |||
</gallery>}}<br> | |||
==Videos== | ==Videos== | ||
===Human Cysts/Zits/Abscesses=== | ===Human Cysts/Zits/Abscesses=== | ||
<youtube>E-tDJ6LBn-4</youtube>| | {{center| | ||
<youtube>K_qHhexcUHo</youtube>| | {{fv|v1|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold; | ||
<youtube>eBMrmbHSJW0</youtube>| | |<youtube>E-tDJ6LBn-4</youtube>|<youtube>K_qHhexcUHo</youtube>|<youtube>eBMrmbHSJW0</youtube>|<youtube>ZNdZvFLnOig</youtube>|<youtube>JFFYVCVRSOI</youtube>|<youtube>mgCyhVNsRWc</youtube>|<youtube>kwUM0J58nLU</youtube>|<youtube>SZR2ospZIFg</youtube>|<youtube>WSx8St_h1cU</youtube>}} | ||
<youtube>ZNdZvFLnOig</youtube>| | }} | ||
<youtube>JFFYVCVRSOI</youtube>| | |||
<youtube>mgCyhVNsRWc</youtube>| | |||
<youtube>kwUM0J58nLU</youtube> | |||
< | |||
===Animal Cysts/Zits/Abscesses=== | ===Animal Cysts/Zits/Abscesses=== | ||
<youtube>meMCeQBlKZQ</youtube>| | {{center| | ||
<youtube>wyv6T1LtXho</youtube>| | {{fv|v2|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold; | ||
<youtube>5TmdIPH4BEk</youtube>| | |<youtube>meMCeQBlKZQ</youtube>|<youtube>wyv6T1LtXho</youtube>|<youtube>5TmdIPH4BEk</youtube>|<youtube>kEZOrZxs2BA</youtube>}} | ||
<youtube>kEZOrZxs2BA</youtube>}} | }} | ||
== See Also == | == See Also == | ||
| Line 80: | Line 95: | ||
* [http://www.popthatzit.com/ Popthatzit.com] - A website consisting of videos of [[rednecks]] popping each others' abscesses with dirty needles | * [http://www.popthatzit.com/ Popthatzit.com] - A website consisting of videos of [[rednecks]] popping each others' abscesses with dirty needles | ||
* [http://acnehelper.info/2010/08/09/pimple-popping/ AcneHelper.info] - Proper way to pop your pimple | * [http://acnehelper.info/2010/08/09/pimple-popping/ AcneHelper.info] - Proper way to pop your pimple | ||
{{biology}} | |||
Latest revision as of 14:10, 7 June 2018
Acne is a hilarious disease experienced by at least 100% of teenagers and a handful of very unlucky adults.
History
It is common knowledge that approximately 98% of LiveJournal users have acne. Internet disease can sometimes suppress the symptoms of acne with the help of blur and heal brush enzymes.
Every nerd and geek in the world has acne, which is why they can never get girlfriends or boyfriends. Theoretical physicists have proposed that by finding a cure for acne the world would have less emos and goths, as these two groups are populated exclusively by angsty adolescents who want an excuse to wear an inch-thick layer of makeup.
People with acne are often called "pizzafaces" because of their purported resemblance of their faces to pepperoni pizza. Gross.
Typical Zits
Why Acne is Hilarious
- It's painful.
- It's ugly.
- It's on your face.
- It causes death after 7 days
- It has sex on your face without using a condom, creating more acne
Why Else
- Approximately 100% of asian people have acne
- The shit people with acne make up when you ask them: "Hey, what happened right there" and point to a zit on their face
Acne Online
At some point a bunch of ugly retards decided to make their own acne forum. Trolling the forum is very easy.
- Start a thread saying something like "I need help to get rid of a zit i have on my nose, I want to pop it but i do not want to look like one of those disgusting people that are all scarred up from constantly picking at their acne".
- Start a thread saying that soaking your face in hydrogen peroxide for 10 min got rid of your acne scars for 2 weeks. Hydrogen peroxide is just a weak bleach and WILL turn skin significantly lighter for a day or so.
- Post about how much you "lance" (acanese for poke) your acne and soak it in rubbing alcohol. When everyone replies on how much you should not do that just respond on how you are going to try a new lancing method, repeat.
Cat Acne
Just like filthy hoomans, LOL Kitties can likewise suffer from horrible popping pustules spewing out of their gourds. Cat acne is actually usually worse than people acne and normally caused by allergic reactions. Cats actually have scent glands in their cheeks and chin, which is why they're constantly rubbing their faces all over everything, in order to mark their territory and personal belongings. However that in turn means exposing their already greasy wet faces to any number of vexing irritants like scented cat liter, plastic food bowls and of course piss spray from male cats that have rubbed their ass glands all over your property like a sprinkler. That in turn causes inflammation of your cats pores which in turn creates nasty crustules of zit froth, prompting yer kitty to pick at her face like a jackhammer with her dirty, filth ridden back claws, which in turn causes the entire mess to spawn all out of control like a rancid volcano of vomit and blood until it look like this:
Gallery
Videos
Human Cysts/Zits/Abscesses
Previous Video | Next Video
Animal Cysts/Zits/Abscesses
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also
External Links
- Popthatzit.com - A website consisting of videos of rednecks popping each others' abscesses with dirty needles
- AcneHelper.info - Proper way to pop your pimple
[Click to Expand]
Acne is part of a series on Body and Health
