Jeff Corwin: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 10:36, 9 March 2014
Jeff Corwin is a faggot and conservationist. He is the host of two shows that nobody gives a shit about. Ever since Steve Irwin got pwnd by a stingray, we've been stuck with his faggotry.
History
At least 100 years ago, Jeff Corwin started out as the host of Going Wild With Jeff Corwin on the Disney channel where he taught little children about bestiality. When Disney dumped his ass for black person he moved to Animal Planet where he host two shows, The Jeff Corwin Experience and Corwin's Quest.
Connection to Dracula
Jeff Corwin claims he is a descendent of Vlad the Impaler, who tortured and killed over 9000 Turks for the lulz. To try and prove his ancestry, Jeff has impaled thousands of animals with his cock. He also tried to bite people's necks to become a vampire but ended up giving Austin Stevens a blowjob instead. After realizing he was doing it wrong, he moved on to sucking blood out of goats, giving rise to the Chupacabra legend.
Before Steve Irwin's Death
People didn't give a shit about him.
After Steve Irwin's Death
People still don't give a shit about him. But he tries so desperately to be better than Steve Irwin that he once tried to get stung by a stingray. This didn't work because the stingray realized he was full of fail and swam away.
Humanitarian Efforts
Jeff is currently traveling the world bawwing about the environment. Natalie Portman decided to come too so she could get a better appreciation of the world and bring public awareness to the environment. After fapping to her in the dark for half the trip, Jeff finally came out and asked her if she wanted buttsecks. But even Natalie knew that Jeff failed at absolutely everything in life and said no. Cock blocked and extremely butthurt, Jeff went back to fucking animals while Natalie went batshit insane by shaving her head and blowing up parliament.
Jeff gets PWNED by an Elephant
Jeff screams like a little bitch in a moment of instant pwnage captured on camera. The Elephant was killed afterwards. Jeff bawwwed.
