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{{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=GUROchan|imageboard_logo=[[File:Gurologo.png]]|date_founded=Unknown|major_boards=/f/, /g/, /s/|epic_win=owners getting v& 20 times, making their own IB software where all the variables are "deadloli"|homepage=<s>http://gurochan.net</s><s>http://gurochan.org</s> <s>https://gurochan.ch and http://gurochanocizhuhg.onion/</s> <s>https://www.gurochan.cx/</s> <s>https://www.gurochan.ga/</s> <s>https://www.guro.wtf/</s> https://www.guro.cx/|right}}


{{infobox Chan|imageboard_name=GUROchan|imageboard_logo="you've been warned."|date_founded=Unknown at this time.|major_boards=/f/, /g/, /s/|epic_win=Banning [[Poser]] art, and [[furry|furfags]] (Surprise, suprise.)|homepage=http://gurochan.net /b/ware.|right}}
Do you have a hankering for doing the [[fapping|hanky-panky]] to a [[shota|little boy]] getting his dick cheese-grated onto a pizza? Do you dream about making a [[The_Human_Centipede|human centipede]], but aren't man enough to do it? Does the thought of eating a fetus, shitting it out, and eating it again make your mouth water with excitement? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, '''gurochan'''&trade; is for you!
[[Image:Cirno_Guro.jpg|thumb|left|If you haven't yet visited GUROchan but intend upon doing so, expect to see something like this.]]


[[Image:Guronasty.jpg|thumb| [[win|No to furries, yes to this.]]]]Once upon a time, [[Anonymous|somebody]] looked at the chaos that was [[4chan]], and said: ''Lo, [[wtf]] is this [[shit]]? [[Furry|Furries]] and [[CP|child porn]]? Verily, it must be that we shall make a promised land, full of violence to deter the [[furry|fucking furfags]] from arriving. And we shall make them [[animu|anime]] chicks, so that we can still fap to it.''
== The thing that just won't die ==


And so, this [[random]] maker of the website sat down and said: ''[[Engrish|What can the fuck is I to do now make for this?]]'' - but lo, an [[stoned|angel]] descended from the ceiling and spake unto [[fgt|him]]. Or [[16-year-old girl|her]].
Gurochan has mysteriously [[v&|disappeared]] twice in recorded history, for "unknown" reasons. Most believe it was because the first admins were serial killers and the second ones were pedos. However, just like any cockroach, it seems that no matter how many times you kill this site, it keeps coming back.  


And he said: ''Play... the best [[music|soooong]]... in the world... or I'll eat your [[iPod|souls]]''. Or maybe not; that could have been the [[radio]] in the background. But the [[anonymous]] creater of gurochan was inspired. And lo, they did [[Deleting your LiveJournal|make a website]].
The current admins are enclaved and ryonaloli. Little is known about enclaved except that he lives off of his mom's disability check in a studio apartment in russia, and stays on irc all day high on heroin. Literally NOTHING is known about ryonaloli, except that he is so fucking paranoid he wears tinfoil around his dick so the [[NSA]] won't monitor his dicksignals and that he seems to be pro google. Or at least he's against an irrational hatred for google.


And verily, the site was [[creationist|finished]], and filled with [[shit]] and [[guro]], and the [[sick fuck|sick fucks]] of the [[internets|intertubes]] migrated there. And it was [[crap|good]].
On this site, expect to find boards literally DEDICATED to shit (/s/), bugs fucking amputees in the ass (/f/), and fat guys gang-raping a [[loli]]'s eyesocket (/g/).


==Statistics==
Oh, and one more thing...
[http://www.gurochan.net Gurochan] is a spinoff of [[4chan]] dedicated to [[Guro]] - or gross anime pictures featuring death and gore, as well as pictures of [[shit]], and [[retard|freaks]]. It's run by Chiisai, a [[13-year-old boy]], and a popular character in the slashfic writen by the lonely [[emo]]kids who frequent the site. <del>If you want to troll the site, I suggest you start a thread using the name [[jissouseki|jessy]] (put it in the 'subject' field) on every board, and compare the site's owners to [[Hitler]] and/or [[Stalin]] because they forced you to post anonymously. Also be sure to make reference to the International Jewery.</del><br /><p>
[[Image:Trolling_gurochan.jpg|thumb| How to troll Gurochan.]]
It should be noted that gurochan does not allow [[furry]] art. That's right, Gurochan does not want any [[sick fucks]] mixing in with their normal, healthy Gurochan users who just want to come in and beat off to some good, wholesome animated murder porn. <del> They also don't want sick lolicon fucks posting on their site</del>.  However, ironically, they hope to high hell lolicon stays legal, because if animated child pornography is treated like real child pornography, then animated explicit murder would be illegal, also.


Please note that [[war porn]] is not guro. Nor are pictures of traffic accidents or anything like that. Gore =/= guro.
..they have a /fur/ board.


People also come to Gurochan in order to find picktures of [[shit]] being smeared on people's [[tits]] and [[cock]] in an impression of this being worthy of [[masturbation|fapping]] or [[lulz]]. Amazingly, they still feel that [[furry]] art is more disgusting, so you won't be worried about finding [[metal (furry)|furfags]] in the post where you [[masturbation|are fapping]] over [[crap|animated scat pr0n]].
== IRC ==


Gurochan is also the primary housing site for a phenomenon called [[Jissouseki]], where millions of [[idiot|enlightened viewers]] can watch the sick fucks being smashed, cooked, raped, ripped apart, gutted, fumigated, poisoned, blown up, and all manner of other things that people go to Gurochan's /g/ board for. Given that [[jissouseki|desu trolls]] love to shit their green pussy juice over everything, the /s/ board is also perfect for their actions.
The official IRC channel is not even owned by gurochan at all, which is not surprising considering enclaved blows all his money on krokodil and ryonaloli blows all his money on tinfoil hats. The embarassing part though, if someone who owns fucking gurochan could actually FEEL embarassment, is the owners of the site only have +voice on their shitty channel... The actual owner of the channel, animone, wants to be king of the freaks and will NOT give up ownership of this channel to the actual admins, which is predictable since they are beta losers anyway. Animone is also known to somehow lurk for months on irc without saying anything, meaning "she" is obviously the [[FBI]].


No. Their board made for housing non-human freaks of nature is not an appropriate place for jissou.
== Gurochan revived (again) and the war with r/Guro ==


Now [[you]] can fap to [[Over 9000|37,692]] pictures of dismembered women and loli with a [https://thepiratebay.se/torrent/7312169/GUROchan_image_dump huge backup of all images ever posted on the site.]
Straitjakit keeps vandalizing this page to shill his non-existant child porn website an remove all the parts where he got owned. Watch out!


==Gurochan turning on demographic?==
In 2019, Straitjackit was notified by gurochan's host that it didn't appreciate the site hosting imagery of lolis getting cattle pronged while hooked on an IV machine full of zit juice and vomit. So Straitjackit followed in the footsteps of Mark Poolerberg, owner of alt.binaries.diaper.porn, and obliged without a second thought, [[Troll|wiping 99.9999999% of the site clean.]]  
A user was [[b&]] [[last Thursday]] for posting [[Dissected-chan]].
Turn out they only want Drawings and not photos on there. Makes perfect sense!


==People who fap to dismembered women==
This [[Waaaambulance|predictably caused mass butthurt]], and the remaining [[oldfags]] from 2005 era gurochan all collectively packed for reddit/killed themselves. Gurochan didn't last long after the loli ban, and some spammed [[Captain Picard|CP]] in [[asshurt|retaliation]], which in turn caused the current Gurochan staff to [[ragequit|give up]] and [[shut it down|shut the site down.]] For <s>about a year and a half</s> [[at least 100 years ago]], there was no gurochan, or even a bunker board, since despite gurochan's userbase being primarily made up of 45 year old virgins, they still aren't good at computer, so no one could host a proper replacement. That is until one [[Mother Russia|33 year old Russian pedophile]] came around, who goes by the name ''kuz'' ([[Powerword]]: '''Yuri Kuznetsov'''), the man behind many famous [[*chans|imageboards]], such as [[who|9channel]] and [[huh|heyuri]]. Despite having so many successful imageboards under [[penis|his wing]], he wanted [[moar|more.]]
*[[OJ]]
 
*[[You]]
In the year 1985 + 36, during kuzzykins quest of finding imageboards to [[rape|partner up with]], he finds the lazy fags that ran the previous iteration of gurochan and struck a deal with them. Gurochan came back with no issues, until a few seconds after the site launched, kuz and the previous gurochan team had [[Cocksucking Rampage|an argument]] over which [[horsecock|trojan horse]] ads and [[aids|datamining software]] should be embedded into the boards. Kuz rightfully called Straitjackit a fat nigger faggot, and [[b&]] everyone from the pisscord group. Straitjackit and his lackies [https://archive.ph/Z1QUT bitched on the new gurochan], owned and operated by Kolyma Network™, in hopes of stealing back the userbase, but then they [[Self-aware|realized]] [[lul|the userbase hates their fucking guts.]] The only community that gave them any [[asspat|sympathy]] was [https://archive.is/tXBXj r/guro], the only guro community filled with [[virgins|male-feminists]] that fap to drawn pictures of [[Women's suffrage|dead women]], while simultaneously [[bitch|reprimanding]] [[faggot|someone]] for [[shitting|making]] a [[unfunny|joke]] on another [[reddit|subreddit]].
 
As of right now, Gurochan is about as active as it's always been, with practically no rules, except for [[Rule 34]]. Along with the no rules attitude this new iteration has, there's also a few [[incest|sister chans]], like [https://bloodymess.net/ Gorechan], and [https://lolisare.fun/lg/ LOLIBOARD]. Because Kuz is a ruski and hosts the site himself, he's [[hax|immune]] to Murican internet laws, so he can host as much loli raep as he wants, [[Baaa|much to the dismay of plebbit's guro community.]]
 
== How to troll ==
 
* Go on IRC claiming to be the feds, and tell ryonaloli his [[CP]] stash will be confiscated.
* Remind animone that being a [[tranny]] just makes you a [[faggot]], NOT a gurl.
* <s>Remind enclaved he fails at life</s> He's constantly too high on da krok to care.
* Post reaction pictures to everything.
* Use TOR to evade bans.
 
== Gallery ==
 
{{cg|Use eyebleach...|Pics|center|<gallery>
File:Fluffyfluffy.jpg|Gurochanner taking the family pet out for a stroll
File:Censored2.jpg|Most of the shit here is so fucking creepy it can't even be uploaded HERE
File:Lolisescapingfromgurochan.png|Literally half the shit on this site is lolicon. No lolis have ever been known to make it out alive.
File:ryona.jpg|Artist's impression of the current admin, ryonaloli
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:enclaved.jpg|The other admin, enclaved, trying to hide his [[meth]]-induced acne with his mother's makeup
File:How do a request.jpg|Classic stupidity
</gallery>}}
 
==See also==
* [[trippin]]-resident whore of #guro.Telling her she's a dumb slut will get you b&
 
== External links ==
* [https://www.guro.cx Gurochan]




''This page is [[unfunny]]. Please assist by [[Talk:Gurochan|letting everyone know]] as often as possible.''
{{4chan}}
{{4chan}}
[[Category:Sites]]
{{Sites}}
{{IRC}}

Latest revision as of 05:56, 8 December 2023

GUROchan
FoundationUnknown
Major Boards/f/, /g/, /s/
Epic Winsowners getting v& 20 times, making their own IB software where all the variables are "deadloli"
Websitehttp://gurochan.nethttp://gurochan.org https://gurochan.ch and http://gurochanocizhuhg.onion/ https://www.gurochan.cx/ https://www.gurochan.ga/ https://www.guro.wtf/ https://www.guro.cx/

Do you have a hankering for doing the hanky-panky to a little boy getting his dick cheese-grated onto a pizza? Do you dream about making a human centipede, but aren't man enough to do it? Does the thought of eating a fetus, shitting it out, and eating it again make your mouth water with excitement? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, gurochan™ is for you!

The thing that just won't die

Gurochan has mysteriously disappeared twice in recorded history, for "unknown" reasons. Most believe it was because the first admins were serial killers and the second ones were pedos. However, just like any cockroach, it seems that no matter how many times you kill this site, it keeps coming back.

The current admins are enclaved and ryonaloli. Little is known about enclaved except that he lives off of his mom's disability check in a studio apartment in russia, and stays on irc all day high on heroin. Literally NOTHING is known about ryonaloli, except that he is so fucking paranoid he wears tinfoil around his dick so the NSA won't monitor his dicksignals and that he seems to be pro google. Or at least he's against an irrational hatred for google.

On this site, expect to find boards literally DEDICATED to shit (/s/), bugs fucking amputees in the ass (/f/), and fat guys gang-raping a loli's eyesocket (/g/).

Oh, and one more thing...

..they have a /fur/ board.

IRC

The official IRC channel is not even owned by gurochan at all, which is not surprising considering enclaved blows all his money on krokodil and ryonaloli blows all his money on tinfoil hats. The embarassing part though, if someone who owns fucking gurochan could actually FEEL embarassment, is the owners of the site only have +voice on their shitty channel... The actual owner of the channel, animone, wants to be king of the freaks and will NOT give up ownership of this channel to the actual admins, which is predictable since they are beta losers anyway. Animone is also known to somehow lurk for months on irc without saying anything, meaning "she" is obviously the FBI.

Gurochan revived (again) and the war with r/Guro

Straitjakit keeps vandalizing this page to shill his non-existant child porn website an remove all the parts where he got owned. Watch out!

In 2019, Straitjackit was notified by gurochan's host that it didn't appreciate the site hosting imagery of lolis getting cattle pronged while hooked on an IV machine full of zit juice and vomit. So Straitjackit followed in the footsteps of Mark Poolerberg, owner of alt.binaries.diaper.porn, and obliged without a second thought, wiping 99.9999999% of the site clean.

This predictably caused mass butthurt, and the remaining oldfags from 2005 era gurochan all collectively packed for reddit/killed themselves. Gurochan didn't last long after the loli ban, and some spammed CP in retaliation, which in turn caused the current Gurochan staff to give up and shut the site down. For about a year and a half at least 100 years ago, there was no gurochan, or even a bunker board, since despite gurochan's userbase being primarily made up of 45 year old virgins, they still aren't good at computer, so no one could host a proper replacement. That is until one 33 year old Russian pedophile came around, who goes by the name kuz (Powerword: Yuri Kuznetsov), the man behind many famous imageboards, such as 9channel and heyuri. Despite having so many successful imageboards under his wing, he wanted more.

In the year 1985 + 36, during kuzzykins quest of finding imageboards to partner up with, he finds the lazy fags that ran the previous iteration of gurochan and struck a deal with them. Gurochan came back with no issues, until a few seconds after the site launched, kuz and the previous gurochan team had an argument over which trojan horse ads and datamining software should be embedded into the boards. Kuz rightfully called Straitjackit a fat nigger faggot, and b& everyone from the pisscord group. Straitjackit and his lackies bitched on the new gurochan, owned and operated by Kolyma Network™, in hopes of stealing back the userbase, but then they realized the userbase hates their fucking guts. The only community that gave them any sympathy was r/guro, the only guro community filled with male-feminists that fap to drawn pictures of dead women, while simultaneously reprimanding someone for making a joke on another subreddit.

As of right now, Gurochan is about as active as it's always been, with practically no rules, except for Rule 34. Along with the no rules attitude this new iteration has, there's also a few sister chans, like Gorechan, and LOLIBOARD. Because Kuz is a ruski and hosts the site himself, he's immune to Murican internet laws, so he can host as much loli raep as he wants, much to the dismay of plebbit's guro community.

How to troll

  • Go on IRC claiming to be the feds, and tell ryonaloli his CP stash will be confiscated.
  • Remind animone that being a tranny just makes you a faggot, NOT a gurl.
  • Remind enclaved he fails at life He's constantly too high on da krok to care.
  • Post reaction pictures to everything.
  • Use TOR to evade bans.

Gallery

Use eyebleach... About missing Pics
  • Gurochanner taking the family pet out for a stroll
    Gurochanner taking the family pet out for a stroll
  • Most of the shit here is so fucking creepy it can't even be uploaded HERE
    Most of the shit here is so fucking creepy it can't even be uploaded HERE
  • Literally half the shit on this site is lolicon. No lolis have ever been known to make it out alive.
    Literally half the shit on this site is lolicon. No lolis have ever been known to make it out alive.
  • Artist's impression of the current admin, ryonaloli
    Artist's impression of the current admin, ryonaloli
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • The other admin, enclaved, trying to hide his meth-induced acne with his mother's makeup
    The other admin, enclaved, trying to hide his meth-induced acne with his mother's makeup
  • Classic stupidity
    Classic stupidity

See also

  • trippin-resident whore of #guro.Telling her she's a dumb slut will get you b&

External links


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