Drama bomb
A drama bomb is a complex and powerful weapon of mass destruction made of pure drama. It was first developed by, as everything destructive and evil in the world, the Nazi Jew Albert Einstein with Al Gore's help, deep underground in the very Internets' core, a restricted area only accessible to the serious business dude, his wife, and his legendary e-pet (or possibly neopet).
What is it?
Unlike the atomic bomb or the lollercaust showers, the power of a drama bomb can pwn not only an entire place or ethnicity, but the very source of lulz on the internets if not dealt with properly, a task usually taken by LJ Drama or the powers that be at ED. Sometimes drama bombs need not be dropped: the most insidious ones, like mines, rest in the underground, waiting for someone to step (or in this case, argue) the shit out of them. As lesbians and straight people, drama bombs can't be seen with normal human eyes. It is rumored that wearing a fursuit enhances the chances of spotting one, but since wearing a fursuit means you're a furry, then you might as well activate the bomb and speed up your way to Shangri-La.
An explanation of the phenomena
The fascinating and compelling process that activates this mythical weapon is based on the infamous Drama theorem:
IRL it goes like this:
- Prima politely asks in a civilized Internets forum where to buy the latest Harry Potter movie.
- Secunda steps in and drops the bomb.
- Prima, being the regular Harry Potter reader, feels understandably shaken.
- Tercera, reading the three posts in the HELP PLZ thread, proceeds to announce to Prima that she has been pwned.
- Prima will have none of this, and he summons Cuarta and Quinta, his buddies, to accuse both Secunda and Tercera of the worse.
- Secunda reads this while having lunch in his office at his productive job in a very important advertising company, and summons some buddies of his own, accusing Prima, Cuarta, and Quinta of being Ann Coulter.
- The real Ann Coulter steps in and suggests that Secunda might just be a fucking bitch that enjoys unusual showers.
- Prima proclaims that Secunda has been pwned in an act of supreme vengeance.
- Secunda's buddy proceeds to type "Your Mom."
- Sexta, the forum's admin, enters to stop the drama, only to be called a wanker by Prima.
- Sexta finds out that at least 100 people think Prima should STFU, and brings down the banhammer on his ass.
- Once again, Tercera announces that Prima has been pwned.
- Prima changes the first three numbers of her IP, and posts fatty pictures of Tercera.
- Secunda defends Tercera and argues that said fatty pictures can't be Tercera's, since Tercera was with his family on 9/11.
- Taurin Fox steps in and proclaims that Furries, Otherkins and Pedophiles are now persecuted minorities, fearing the let's-pray-to-god-it-comes-tomorrow Furry Holocaust. All while crying out OMG FURSECUTION!!!!11!!1, of course.
- Meanwhile, Cuarta backstabs Prima, going batshit about how 9/11 is a government conspiracy.
- On the other hand, Tercera is outraged with his fatty pictures emerging OL, and hires an e-lawyer to take e-legal action on Prima's e-ass at internet court, charging her with slander and stalking.
- Septima, witnessing the lulz and abiding by Godwin's Law, resorts to the Fifty Hitler Post.
- Somewhere in-between the Your Mom and STFU use, Octavia mentions how MONGO allegedly takes it like a man, resulting in MONGO deleting your LiveJournal before the internet police arive.
By this point, the Internets themselves have exploded amidst conspiracy theories and 9/11 memes, leaving only the lulz archived by LJ Drama behind, which will remain in the Internets and taint whatever site appears there forever more.
How to Drop teh Drama
Note that drama bombs are more easily dropped onto those who are different, although you also can take out lots of mundanes if they happen to be around the attack.
- On a Goth: Declare your love for Marilyn Manson and remind them constantly of his popularity over the Sisters Of Mercy.
- On a Furry: Ask them to borrow their furshampoo.
- On an Otherkin: Link to a site about how dragons and fairies are not real.
- On a Pedophile: Post kiddy pr0n, only to reveal later on that said pr0n actually features a 18-year-old girl.
- On a Liberal: Talk about how much W rocks.
- On a Neocon: Type "abortion" on any given sentence.
- On a Fag: Compare gayness and cockmonglery to necrophilia and bestiality.
- On a Lesbian: Let them take the lesbian quiz and watch them fall.
- On a Bisexual: Clearly attention whores. Bitch endlessly about this to them.
- On a Tranny: Imply that Ann Coulter is hot.
- On a Feminazi: Endorse the joys of surprise sex.
- On a Wapanese: Ask them what time it is in Japan.
- On an Ana: Intro post with Queen Latifah being your thinspiration.
- On a Jew: Hitler is a god and Mein Kampf is a bible.
- On a Christian: Type (or copypaste) a TL;DR post about why The Da Vinci Code is the truthzz LOL.
- On a Catholic: Advocacy for boiluv.
- On a Pagan: Three words: Jesus loves you.
- On a LJ User: Reveal important and ultra-secret information about them without a Friends only tag.
- On a MySpace: Pwn their asses by commenting at least 100 times on their pages about how much fun you both had at the KKK last weekend. If HTML is enabled, then it's also Fifty Natalee Holloway post time.
- On TOW: Type anything that requires brain activity.
- On Meele: Try to figure out how getting your cat dead enhances your fuglyness.
- On Purelily: Use a heavy amount of e-bonics.
- On MONGO: Use the letters a, w, t, and/or the (,) symbol.
- On Melmo: Melmo IS the drama bomb.
- On a Scientologist: Reveal the legend of our lord Xenu.
Ultimate Drama Bomb rumors
Allegedly, Encyclopedia Dramatica is working on the ultimate Drama Bomb, said to renew the world and bring forth a golden age without furries, shit bands, otherkins, emos, wapanese, uncyclopedians, Christians, and other deviants. Girlvinyl has indeed confirmed this, promising that the "EDbomb" will surpass even the casualties left by Frienditto.
