Death Note
Death Note. Story by: Tsugumi Ohba (大場つぐみ) Manga by: Takeshi Obata (小幡健)
The plot is simple: Yagami Light (prononuced I'm-a-gay-ass-fag), a typical prep-school jerk, god wannabe, 13 year old weaboo fuck, and part-time man whore, finds a magic notebook (teh Death Note) that kills people simply by writing their name in said notebook. After finding the notebook, Light calls himself 'Kira' which is the engrish way Japanese people say "killer". Apparently, this manga series is very popular in Japan. The only reason the series has even lasted this long is due to Yaoi obsessed fangirls turning all the characters gay. Some say this is redundant. Possibly the biggest, most overrated, Faggotry of an anime of all time. Think of it as the Twilight of the anime world.
Light Yagami is gay solely because Yagami spelled backwards reads Im a gay. The transcription of Japanese characters into Roman letters is never just a weak attempt to take two languages that formed in isolation from one another and make one vaguely coherent to speakers of the other, therefore this has something to do with his/her sexuality, and nothing to do with the fact that it means "Night God."
Sources also state that the retarded detective L (yes the letter L) finds that it would be a brilliant idea to CHAIN himself to Light with the excuse that he needed to watch Light at all times. To prove that he is not Kira. Also L states, in the animu/manga, that he needs to keep a eye on him, even in the bathroom. Creepy? Perhaps.
Sum the plot up faster? Light is an emo freak who wants to become god of all animu characters and thinks that by using the Death Note he will reign supreme, even though he still lives with his mom. But first he has to get past insane Pedophai-L who only wants to capture him and chain him to a bed post. Fun!
The Death Note
A person whose name is written in the Death Note dies after 40 seconds. Even better, you get to pick the cause of death as well. You could choose "vehicular homicide" even if the victim is on the top floor of a skyscraper, and the car will take the elevator. Light uses the book to kill criminals in order to create what he considers "the perfect world" and act as God in it, thus achieving Hitler's unfinished work. Then he made a mistake by writing his penis' name in the Death Note. The cause of death was bone cancer, although in the director's cut, he accidentally rips it of while masturbating to a picture of L.
Along with the notebook comes a "shinigami" (死神 = Death God Furfag), the interracial mix of a Pokemon with a Tim Burton-esque mental perversion. Light's particular shinigami is named Ryuk (Pronounced WRY-UK), the Japanese pronunciation of "Luke". He's an invisible Mansonite voyeur who sleeps inside Light's ass at night and replaced Light's penis after it died.
The Death Note was actually based on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Paper Death Notes are actually impotent, possibly because Satan loves trees. Of course, some people are so fucking retarded that they think all this is real: Proof that Virginians are morons.
Characters
- Light Yagami: Also known Kira, Light Yagami is the protagonist of Death Note, and has a strong obsession with becoming a god. At first, no one wants him to be god because they realize his last name spelled backwards is "Im a gay" and if America can't have
a black guy for president(TOO LATE), they aren't going settle for a faggot. It should also be noted that the anagram of "Raito Yagami" is "I am a gay riot." When he first meets L on his graduation day, he finds it awkward that a guy so hot and sexy is sitting next to him, so he immediately seizes the opportunity and starts hitting on him. Since L is goatse, he takes this as a come on "just as friends" and later gives him a foot massage. After L realizes Light was actually gay, he fakes his own death, and goes on a vacation to Disney Land. Light then takes Misa as his girlfriend to cover up his homosexuality. He gets pwnt by Ryuuk as he no longer bore the sufficient amount of lulz to please the bored Shinigami.
- Ryuuk: An apple-addicted Shinigami and grinning homosexual rapist, Ryuuk makes possible the thousands of deaths caused by Kira for his own entertainment. He kills Light with the Death Note in the end, as promised, and then evolves into Gengar at Level 75 after being traded.
- L: The 25 year old manchild who is named L Lawliet. He is a smartass detective trying to capture Kira. Lacks socks like Einstein, because the Jew doesn't know how to tie his shoes. The retard doesn't even know how to use a fucking cellphone. Also prefers to squat in chairs because the floor is lava. After finding out Light was gay he fakes his death, steals Misa's panties, and runs away to Disney Land. He has no friends and is a /v/irgin. He is the closest thing to Michael Jackson in the series, which is why everybody likes him.
- Watari: L's samurai manservant, Watari's purpose is to indulge L's rampant agoraphobia and act as a liaison to the Japanese police. Is an expert Sn1p3r from his days of playing Halo. He is killed off by Rem as a fun warmup for Ryuuzaki.
- Mello and Near: After L dies, these two shota from Watari's School For Gifted And Talented Children are chosen to take his place. Near probably eats his toys, and Mello eats chocolate that doesn't affect his weight in any way because apparently, people who eat sweets don't get fat. All of the chocolate Mello eats goes straight to Watari's thighs. Mello is always dressed in some sort of tight black leather outfit, which is his way of soliciting for gay sex. Oh, and, Near is a pedophile. This is obvious because he keeps a picture of Mello at 14 on him at all times for four years, until Mello comes to retrieve it. Mello doesn't even dare question what that suspicious looking crusty white stain on the photo is.
- Amane Misa: The slutty 16 year old faghag idol who wants to fuck Light until she dies. She's also another fucktard with a Death Note who would kill anyone if you wanted. Some argue that after Light dies, she herself dies of a broken heart.
- Rem: A female Shinigami who wants to fist Misa. This unnatural lust is exploited by Light to manipulate Rem into knocking off L and Watari for him.
- Mikami Teru: An e-lawyer and OCD fucktard who just wanted appreciation from Kira. He fucks up Light's final plan and is lucky enough to get a branching death: In the manga, his faggotry is made less prominent as insults Light for leading them both to this, when, in actually, he was the person to fuck up. He later rots in prison, although some speculate Near killed him. Light by In the last episode, he pwnt himself with a pen when he screws up Light's evil plan. Should be noted that he likes sakujo and LOVES FUCKING ELIMINATING.
- Morello: Fag. NERF THE SHIT OUTTA DEATH NOTE. 5% Cooldown Reduction with +10 Ability Power.
Fanbase
Death Note & Yaoi
As predictable, Death Note has spawned countless yaoi doujinshi, fanfictions, and fanart. The main duo featured is always LightxL or LxLight. Those are silly stories where they OMFG have anal sex like wabbits on heat and all that fucking jazz. There are also doujinshi with Light and other sideshows, like some nasty ones about the Shinigami's massive inhuman cock filling Light's ass. Sometimes mpreg is also featured; typically with Light being the one shoving a fetus out of his magical vagina.
Other popular Death Note Yaoi couples include Mello/Near and Matt/Mello. There are also many moar featuring the entire detective squad and Watari.
JUST AS PLANNED
Like Naruto with his "BELIEVE IT!", Steve Urkel with his "Did I do that?", and Nazis with their "HEIL HITLER", Death Note now has its own catchphrase.
— Light | ||
Whenever a certain thread or argument comes up on 4Chan and Anonymous tricks some poor fucker, there will always be a picture of Light with an evil look on his face from one of the episodes (or manga) with the caption, "JUST AS PLANNED." Or, if things go wrong, there is always a shooped image of Light frowning and the words replaced with, "NOT AS PLANNED."
It has yet to become as famous as Longcat and be its own meme.
There is a part where some guy starts eliminating people, (though some may argue that he's deleting them) and the Japanese way of saying eliminate is "Sack a Jew". Then he orgasms for some reason. Writing names in a notebook must be really physically draining.
- Death Note Online is the new website for fanboys
The Manga Murders (IRL Drama)
Last Thursday, three Belgian men discovered the legs and torso of an unidentified white man in a park in Brussels. The corpse was accompanied by two notes which (Get ready to facepalm) both read the misspelled Japanese phrase "WATASHI WA KIRA DESS." Now you would probably say that the notes were planted by Wapanese medical students as a prank, but the police, and professors of the University of Brussels medicine department, rule out this option. Besides this, the genitals of the victim had been shaved, a detail pointing to the homoerotic nature of the Death Note Manga. Secondly, besides Japan, Belgium is the only country in the world where comic books for children are taken seriously. It is most likely that Death Note has spawned its first copycat killer.
— Anime News Network, [1] | ||
The old media are already calling this "The Manga Murders," and if great justice still exists in the world, this should spark an anti-anime backlash even more hilarious than the one caused by the UK release of Legend of the Overfiend.
This was not the first manga-related murder in Belgium. A year earlier a young mangaka, named Anneke van der Stap, went missing. Her decomposed body was found a few weeks later in a dark alleyway. Instead of coming to the most logical conclusion, the Dutch media spread rumors about a lurid manga-underground, filled with crime and mayhem. We all know Japanimation attracts some sick fucks, so for the lulz, let's believe the gutter press.
Death Note: The Movie(s)
In 2006 not one, but three Death Note movies were made. All Death Note fans think all three were the greatest movie ever made. There are many differences in the movie, for one Light has a girlfriend whom he only has to hide his inner faggot. Another one is that Light's dad is the loud Asian guy on Iron Chef (no rly look for yourself), therefore making him an expert chef, cooking gourmet meals by day fighting crime by night, I AM IRON CHEF. The plot is pretty much the same, except more white people and Ultraman is on the police force (he's the guy that stands in the back). Some other faggots in Japan also made a miniseries that was some kind of Boruto-type shit, and just like Boruto, no one gave a fuck about it after seeing how retarded it was. The lolcows at Netflix also managed to make an even shittier live action movie, except this time they made L a nigger and gave Ryuk the voice of the Green Goblin from the first Spider-Man movie. They proceeded to troll the fanbase even harder by making the story line almost entirely different from the source material, causing millions of autistic weaboos everywhere to cry delicious tears into their Misa body pillows.
Videos
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Gallery
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Yep, not gay at all. -
L would do anything for tasty treats. And donuts. -
The part where Light was trying to convince his dad that he isn't gay -
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Inappropriate message from fansubbers is inappropriate. -
L is pretending to be a straight pervert. -
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Typical L Cosplayer -
Chris Crocker likes Death Note. -
Kira fucking loves killing; it's like sex to him. -
Some day...... we'll get that kira! -
Mikami can be commonly seen with cocks and/or french fries in his mouth. -
Death Note irl -
Ryuk -
Proof of an IRL Death Note -
Ryuk in the movie -
The part where Light was trying to convince his girlfriend that he isn't ghey -
Light irl -
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Moar Death Note IRL action -
He's not gay, he's just a woman inside! -
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I came! -
Even Kira supports Operation Chanology. -
A comic from the retarded webcomic Boxer Hockey, displaying a fine example of how Santa employs the use of the Death Note. -
A comic from the retarded webcomic VG Cats, displaying a fine example of what happens when Santa discovers the Death Note. -
Even Ryuk isn't safe from Rule 34 -
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L the fucking mastermind -
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Death Note card crusher -
L desu~ -
The Death Note -
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This is what yaoi fangirls actually believe. -
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The face of Death Note doujinshi. -
An example of the Death Note Prototype -
"I'll suck your cock!" -
Typical Death Note mary sue. -
Typical fanart. -
Not just God. An Olympic coach too! -
This is how the Death Note works. -
Other shinigami-themed anime try to capitalize on the popularity. -
May have been inspired by a classic soccer schemer. -
Light Yagami as seen in the American re-make of the film. -
Rating
Action: 4, for all the retardedintellibabble from Light and especially L. Also Watari is a level 50 in Team Snipers.
Lulz: 8 for some(see: a ton) of the over the top shit, such as Light eating a potato chip, his girly-man batshit laugh at the end, and for everything going JUST AS PLANNED.
See Also
UkrDramatica's article on this- Sakujo
- Necrophilia - For real true Misa fans.
- Soulja Boy, huge fan
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